#` * ✧. out of character — interaction call.

[thenationofzaun]

- Zaunites dying to help Piltover in battle while wearing enforcer uniforms, even though Piltover did nothing to earn it

- Silco, one of the few pro-Zaun/anti-Piltover characters from season 1, reduced into a mouthpiece for "forgiving those who wronged you" and letting go

- Jinx, one of the few anti-Piltover characters, becoming redeemed by sympathizing with Piltovians, being apologetic for killing Councilors, and feeling like she should die to allow her sister to be happy with her enforcer girlfriend

- Vi not having any problem with her Piltovian enforcer girlfriend gassing Zaun, and reduced to kneeling for Caitlyn's pussy in a prison cell, where she was locked for years as a child by an enforcer

- Jayce telling Viktor that his disease was never a weakness to be cured even though the disease was caused by Piltover polluting Zaun

- Ekko never calling out Heimerdinger's failings as a ruler nor Vi for joining the enforcers (even though he does in the game), and also risking all the Firelights' lives to help Piltover

- Sevika not having any lines in Act 3, never interacting with Jinx or reacting to Isha's death, and also risking her life to help Piltover, a decision which was made off screen

[libraryogre]

I wrote something similar to this... less aboyt unfucking specific ancestries, and more about the philosophies behind racism in RPGs.

So, recently, I've started saying "More Pratchett than Tolkien" to describe my approach to D&D (and other RPGs, but it seems to be more an issue with those who prefer older versions of D&D). But what do I see that as meaning? I've got a few points on this; mostly what I perceive as being the core parts of a "Tolkien" mindset of game worlds, versus a "Pratchett" mindset. Note that I am not ascribing these opinions specifically to JRR Tolkien, but rather than Lord of the Rings is frequently invoked as defense of them. After this, I'll avoid referring to this as "Tolkien" or words derived from that; my statement is pithy, better for a signature than discussion.

1) Racism as a necessary component

One of the primary objections to playing a "humanoid" character is that the character will face insurmountable racism; the 1e DMG says "So unless the player desires a character which will lurk alone somewhere and be hunted by adventurers", before going on to explain that one might want to play a gold dragon, because it can look human, but that no gold dragon would want to do this. The games will often include something like a "Basic Acceptability of Racial Types" table; 1e has one in the PH to cover humans and demi-humans, and the DMG has one to cover most types of humanoids in their interactions with each other; Hackmaster includes it in the PH. With this, it is argued, the game wouldn't be "realistic".

Leaving aside the conception of a world which must, necessarily, include often violent racism, it also shows a lack of imagination, or consideration of the nature of the world presented in D&D and similar games... while many different species live in the world, Good and Evil are real and quantifiable things, and there are gods who can communicate relatively freely with their worshipers on the Prime Material (if they don't live there themselves). A view where violent, unexamined racism can leave one still aligned as "Good" is one that is alien to any understanding of the word "Good" that I have, much less the definition of "Good" as laid out in the 1e DMG. "Basically stated, the tenets of good are human rights, or in the case of AD&D, creature rights. Each creature is entitled to life, relative freedom, and the prospect of happiness. Cruelty and suffering are undesirable." (p 23) How is this compatible with the idea that Good people can freely kill non-combatants of "evil" races?

A particularly evident argument of this is seen in half-orcs (and, in Hackmaster, half-hobgoblins). The 1e PH states that "some one-tenth of orc-human mongrels ore sufficiently non-orcish to pass for human." (p 17). Hackmaster has "Note that even where hobgoblins are acceptable, half-hobgoblins are mistreated and disliked by the locals. Half-hobgoblins share a special bond with half-orcs,alongside whom they are often persecuted as beastly monsters." (HM PH, 31) Despite both being specifically being called out as being non-sterile hybrids, the only consideration is that all half-humanoids will "will always have an human mother and have been born and raised in human lands" and be "The offspring of questionable parentage and violent couplings" (HM PH, 31); none will be, for example, the offspring of a mommy sil-karg and a daddy sil-karg who love each other very much. Hackmaster mentions that "The city of Prompeldia has developed a sizable sil-karg quarter that is threatening to become large enough to count as its own culture." (HM PH, 31). But all will be "The offspring of questionable parentage and violent couplings."

A Pratchett-style view of the game does not pretend that racism does not exist, but rather disputes the idea that it is insurmountable. The dwarves and trolls of Ankh-Morpork do begin with hatred, but they reach an uneasy peace when forced into proximity by the city. Sam Vimes, like many in the city, is riddled with prejudices about non-humans and the undead, but he overcomes them as he deals with them as people. Some of this is inspired by Carrot, the human raised by dwarves, who still considers himself a dwarf in many respects... but also respects all people, learning their names and treating them as citizens, not as trolls or gargoyles.

2) Race as unbending identity

"Humans with pointy ears" is frequently invoked when you have a non-human character who is perceived to act unlike their stereotype, or one of the acceptable range of stereotypes. Are your dwarves "not dwarven enough?" Does he like wine instead of ale? Does he shave his beard? Is he a dagger wielding tunnel rat, instead of a chain-mail clad warrior with an axe? You're playing a short human, not a REAL dwarf.

This also tends to get invoked when dealing with traditionally hostile non-humans. An elf or dwarf might violate their racial alignment, but a good orc? Unheard of. It's argued that it is impossible for any of the "humanoids" to be other than their Monster Manual entries, despite that never really being written anywhere, and several counter-examples, especially from 2nd edition (such as the Monster Mythology deity who prizes his good bugbear converts). Gary Gygax, revered by many old school gamers, even stated "The old addage [sic] about nits making lice applies", referring to noted proponent of genocide John Chivington's statements about Native Americans. As I have argued before, Dungeons and Dragons owes a lot to Westerns, and the attitude towards humanoids in a game tends to mirror the attitude towards Native Americans in contemporary Westerns; in Chato's Land (1973), you have a half-Indian protagonist, while Dances with Wolves (1990) presents the Native Americans as the sympathetic characters.

One objection to having the possibility of non-evil humanoids is the idea that a DM may use these as "gotchas"... "You killed all of these orcs but they were secretly good so now you're all evil!". But this argument fails, in my opinion, as one could also use that as an argument against DMs... "We found a vorpal sword in a crypt guarded by a skeleton with no legs!" It is always possible for a bad DM to make a bad game.

A more Pratchett-style game recognizes that the stereotypes exist, and may be the norm, but they are not the only way characters of that race can be played. Pratchett's dwarves are uniformly male-presenting, with beards and axes and iron boots, with one's actual sex being so concealed that the beginning of a dwarven courtship is "find out if the person is the correct gender." In Feet of Clay, however, we're introduced to Cheri Littlebottom, a dwarf woman who doesn't want that. She wants dresses and jewelry, lipstick and high heels welded to her iron boots. It is noted to be unusual. Other dwarves react with disgust... but it also doesn't make her impossible to exist as a character. Other examples include trolls who join the watch, vampires in the Überwald League of Temperance who abstain from intelligent blood, and golems who buy their freedom to become their own selves.

3) Only certain races are proper.

Some of this ties into the distinctions drawn between humans, demi-humans (elves, dwarves, gnomes, and halflings), semi-humans (half-elves, half-orcs, half-hobgoblins), and humanoids (orcs, goblins, gnolls, etc.). In the older game mindset, players should only be humans, demi-humans, and semi-humans; anything else is too weird or outlandish. For this, I will set aside the humanoids; I feel the objections to them are largely addressed above. This is addressed to what are often seen as the more exotic races... dragonborn, warforged, tabaxi, and the like.

The older mindset tends to describe these are unnecessary. I've even had someone describe the non-evil drow, minotaurs, and other uncommon races described as "played out", as if the dwarves with beards and axes griping at the elves of the forests isn't itself cliche at this point. The small stable of relatively human races is seen as a bonus... provided they don't go outside "appropriate" for their species, that they're human-like is enough. Orcs and humanoids are rejected as above, but there's also examples like Lizardfolk (who have always been Neutral, if cannibals) who are part of the world, but considered too out there for PCs.

The Pratchett-inspired game eschews this; while golems are unusual in Ankh-Morpork, and certainly powerful (more powerful than you might want in a low-level game), Warforged are a similar idea, but rendered playable. Tabaxi represent a different kind of character than "short and resistant to magic in some way". Dragonborn evoke the namesake of the game, again providing a different sort of character to play. That these exist don't invalidate the options to play elves, dwarves, and halflings. A Pratchett-inspired game will have a more cosmopolitan approach to races, both in terms of racism (as above), and in terms of options.

Unfucking Dungeons & Dragons

The concept of some humanoid or near-humanoid species being naturally inclined to evil is a racist one, and, unfortunately, a prevalent one in Dungeons & Dragons, exacerbated by the fact that these “evil species” are frequently the “ugly” ones. Drow are a particularly glaring example - “made black because of their ‘evil’”?! Fuck you - but the duergar - “the slaves … learned only to enslave, really makes you think don’t it” - and the orcs - “they feel the CALL to evil in their Gruumshy HEARTS” - are also super not good. (There’s also a fair degree of ableism, with “insane” monsters - in such cases, I honestly think “unaligned” would be a better description for “too far gone to understand morality”. Evil implies a choice.) Honestly, I wouldn’t mind so much if these weren’t supposed to be naturally-occurring species - always evil demons or fey are fine, because they’re made of magic and stories, although care should of course be taken not to make them look like naturally-occurring species - but elves are really just fragile pointy-eared monkeys, and they have excuses. However, these evil humanoids are also genre staples and often quite aesthetically good. To that end, I offer the Unfucking D&D Guide, which provides what I think are solutions to this problem. (It should be noted that I am whiter than plain yogurt, so my ideas should be taken with a grain of salt and definitely not take precedence over the ideas of non-white folks. If I’ve said something fucked-up in this, please let me know and I’ll fix it.)

Duergar. Keep the “enslaved by illithids, made grim & psionic” bit, toss the “learnt evil from them” part. The duergar are joyless, or can appear so - you can play them either as gloomy and fatalistic or as eccentric and unreasonably concerned with “corruption” - but despite whatever mood they possess, make sure that they are thoroughly dedicated to making sure the horrors of the Underdark stay in the Underdark, and are as righteous and honorable as their hill and mountain cousins.

Derro. The derro are an “insane” species; I bring them up only because I saw them confused with duergar in one post about racism in D&D. Their lore has not been constant - the current lore is “dwarves enslaved by illithids, tortured into madness, and now they’re eeeeeeeevil”, which is ableist, not racist - but their metatextual origin is among the detrimental robots, or Deros, of pulp author Richard Sharpe Shaver’s stories (or possibly delusions). “Born from the dreams of a mad author” would actually be good lore if you can make that author a tragic sufferer of schizophrenia in a time before it was understood rather than an ~*~eViL mAdMaN~*~, but in any event, change their type to construct, fey, or fiend, and, most importantly, don’t take them seriously. The derro are pulp villains, and their evil is grandiose and nonsensical. They ought not to be seen as realistic; they ought to be seen as Snidely Whiplash, Commander Claw, or Heinz Doofenshmirtz. “Reasons” are for other genres.

Drow. Return drow to their mythical roots as trow, nocturnal hunters, tricksters, and magical artisans dwelling in the hollow hills. There’s high and wood elves; dark elves can find a niche. Lolthite culture is good villain fodder, but make sure that you can handle an “evil religion”, and make sure that all types of elves participate.

Goblinoids and trolls. Make them fey, and abandon Tolkien for Rossetti and folktale. Goblins make cruel bargains; hobgoblins attend faerie courts; bugbears hide in closets and create electricity from feed on children’s screams; trolls lurk under bridges and love riddles. As fey, they’re not evil, simply alien and lacking in empathy towards mortals.

Gnolls. If you use the Volo’s lore, change their type to fiend and be done with it. If you want to have them be natural humanoids, go read Ursula Vernon’s Digger for the best-written hyaena-furries in literature and base gnolls off that once you’re done crying.

Kobolds. Kobolds are already draconic cleaner wrasses in lore; there’s no reason that metallic dragons can’t enjoy them as well and influence some populations to good.

Illithids. The mind flayers certainly have great potential as villains. However, there is nothing about their psychology that impels them thither. Their biological requirements could easily be met by feeding on those close to death, whom I might imagine would willingly donate their brains as food or tadpole incubators in exchange for a painless death and the surety that their memories would live on in the illithid. Also, create food and water spells exist.

Ogres. Ogres are wilderness-dwellers who prefer to maintain their personal territories through fear instead of actual force of arms; the idea of the monstrous, anthropophagous ogre is a deliberate sham. They are actually capable of great heroism, even if they aren’t exactly the sharpest tools in the shed and okay to be honest I started out trying to build up to a Shrek joke but I think I’d take this over canon lore.

Orcs. Orcs are an easy fix; all you need to do is remove Gruumsh from the equation and they don’t have a bullshit “call to evil”; in Eberron, without objective gods, the people of the Shadow Marches believe that half-orcs are the proof that orcs and humans are one people, so there’s even in-game precedent for orcs as members of society.

Yuan-ti. There are two ways to do this. One is to dump all the lore and just have sexy snake cults, although don’t dress them like Asian or Aztec stereotypes like a lot of the art does. (The 3.5 Monster Manual yuan-ti pureblood looks like she’s constantly accompanied by an inappropriate bamboo flute riff, I swear to Istus.) A sexy snake cult (and I am including malisons, abominations, and anathemas in the term “sexy”, not just purebloods) should be fun for everyone.

The other way is to keep their personalities and dump everything else, because if you keep that, you get truly excellent villains. I mean, these fuckers. How dare they drag something as pure as snakes into their Ayn Rand bullshit. Villain yuan-ti should be something transformed from willing or deluded humanoids (histachii raise the sacred snakes and the children of the yuan-ti, who possess their parents’ original race at birth). Couple that with the fact that since snakes very definitely have emotions, yuan-ti logically should as well, which means that they only think they’re above emotions. Now you have Objectivists roped into a magical pyramid scheme, which should offend no-one who doesn’t deserve it. You can mourn for the beings they once were, or just laugh in their dumb faces. Also, the sexy ones all look like Ayn Rand.

[cherrybomb107]

“I like that Arcane doesn’t spoon feed us everything.” “Show don’t tell”. Whenever I see comments like this in response to critiques about this season, I get confused. How much has to happen offscreen or be completely glossed over via music video montage before we call a spade a spade and say certain things were underwritten?

“Show don’t tell” they did neither!!! We weren’t shown any meaningful scenes of Vi’s pit fighter era. We weren’t shown Ekko and Jinx working together to rebuild Jinx’s weapons and make their new outfits. We weren’t shown any hints as to Maddie having been a Noxian spy(no, the fact that y’all hated her from jump means nothing). We weren’t shown Caitlyn showing genuine remorse for her actions and ever growing distrust of Ambessa(micro expressions can only account for so much). We weren’t shown Ekko meaningfully interacting with the Firelights. We weren’t shown Vi and Jinx having a genuine conversation (and they have a LOT of shit to talk about) and I could keep going.

I love the show, I swear I do, but there’s a big difference between subtlety and things happening out of nowhere. It’s not “spoon feeding” for the show to let us SEE characters develop organically, and not via montage. We are watching a television SHOW after all, so yes, I expect certain things to be shown to us rather than told. “Show don’t tell” but they did a hell of a whole lot more telling than they did showing this time around. This is just my opinion of course

[killerelysia]

Pardonnez-moi, Monsieur!- Solivan brugmansia x Yan!G.N Reader! (Part 3!)

The kid at the back is a 18+ visual novel Minors don't interact!

Words: 10000

Genre: Yandere-(Self aware yandere won the poll)

(Reader is G.N)

Summary: You’ve become consumed by your obsession with Solivan Brugmansia. What started as innocent curiosity quickly spiraled into a fixation. He started it and you began to stalk him, learning every detail about his life. You felt a sick sense of satisfaction in making Sol’s world safer while growing increasingly delusional about your connection with him. Your love for him deepens as you fantasize about the future, convinced that you are the one who truly understands him—better than anyone else. Despite the line between reality and obsession blurring, you remain certain: Sol is yours, even if he doesn’t know it yet.. You're his and he's yours...

Trigger Warning: This content contains themes of obsessive behavior, stalking, manipulation, mental instability, and delusional thinking, Drugging, Yandere?, Hopeless in love for attention Please read with caution.

Obsessive behavior: The reader becomes dangerously fixated on someone, bordering on stalking and delusion.

Manipulation: The reader engages in schemes to control or harm others, often through deception.

Mental illness: Delusional thinking, possible dissociation from reality, and unhealthy fixation on someone.

Violence: There are references to bullying, physical harm, and emotional manipulation.

Emotional abuse: Both in terms of how the protagonist manipulates others and how they might internalize toxic behaviors.

Stalking: The reader watches and follows the person they are obsessed with.

EXTRA: He's a character from a game named The kid at the back!! Note, The relationship presented here between sol and reader is extremely toxic!! In no way, Just because I'm writing doesn't mean I support this kind of toxicity. Note, It's okay to like sol if you know the flaws and don't be a blind eye on them! Again, I don't support his actions etc! If you hate sol ignore this.

Somehow you managed to talk with Sol, Thank Hyugo- THO, He tried to kill you.

Of course, you're gonna complain.

You managed to strike up a normal conversation with Sol, and now he’s explaining the so-called assignment Mr. Professass (Professor) gave.

“Let’s use your face as an example,” he says with a sly grin.

“There, you’re making a cute expression right now—that can be considered expressionism.”

You blinked at his compliment, momentarily stunned. Sol seemed to know a lot about art, effortlessly weaving the concept into the conversation.

“Oh! Expressions! That’s easy! I used to draw a lot of yo—” You stopped mid-sentence, coughing to cover your sudden slip. Sol raised an eyebrow at you, his expression a mix of curiosity and mild amusement. How could he act so normal, like nothing ever fazed him?

“Was your friend good at art?” You asked, smoothly steering the conversation.

“Friend? Oh… you mean Hyugo. He ditched me at the last minute for some family business. He never talks about them, and I don’t pry.”

You nodded, a flicker of endearment softening his sharp features despite the faint annoyance in his tone. “He seems loud.”

“He did say sorry for dragging me into his mess—making me take his place and all.” You waved it off with a small smile. “But honestly, he’s a good guy. The best wingman, really.”

For a brief moment, you observed Sol closely. He rambled on about Hyugo, shaking his head as if exasperated, but there was a lingering warmth in his voice that betrayed his true feelings.

“Our first meeting wasn’t exactly ideal,” you said suddenly, cutting into the moment.

Sol paused mid-thought and tilted his head. “Oh? That’s…” His cheeks reddened slightly.

“I didn’t mean that chair situation,” you teased, leaning back. “I’m talking about your blue Jolly Rancher of a friend. That little menace tried to kill me with a pocket knife.”

The confession spilled out so quickly you almost laughed, but the expression on Sol’s face turned from confusion to shock—and then worry.

“Wait, seriously?” he asked, leaning closer. “Are you okay?”

You nodded, trying to downplay it. “It’s fine, really. I’m sure he won’t do it again.”

But Sol wasn’t convinced. His expression darkened slightly, an uncharacteristic seriousness in his voice. “I’ll talk to him. Thank you for telling me, Y/N. I’ll make sure he doesn’t pull anything like that again.”

“There’s no need for that!” you insisted, waving your hands in reassurance. “I’m sure it’s all water under the bridge now.”

Even so, Sol didn’t look entirely convinced. His determination to address the issue was kind of… cute. Watching him brood over it made your heart skip, a warmth pooling in your chest.

You pulled out your sketchpad on a whim and began doodling Sol’s expressions—the way his brows furrowed when he was deep in thought, the subtle pout tugging at his lips.

“Would you believe me if I told you Hyugo’s one of the top students in the entire class but is always missing in action?” Sol asked suddenly, breaking your focus.

“Probably busy with… uh… family stuff?” you guessed, barely glancing up as your pencil danced across the page.

“Yeah, something like that,” he muttered before noticing your scribbling. His gaze shifted to your sketchpad, and he leaned in curiously.

“Wait, were you drawing me this entire time?” Sol asked, his voice laced with both surprise and suspicion.

“Me? No, of course not!” you lied, trying to shield the sketchpad from view.

“Liar,” he said with a pout that nearly made your heart combust.

“Aww, come on, it’s not a big deal, Sullivan!”

“As in that monster from…?”

“Sorry, Sol.” You grinned sheepishly, attempting to cheer him up, but his exaggerated pout only grew more dramatic.

And for the millionth time that day, your heart had died from his unintentional charm.

You found yourself lost in the moment, staring at your sketchpad and then at Sol. A small, almost creepy smile crept onto your lips as you tilted the page toward him.

“You’re really cute,” you said softly, almost absentmindedly.

Sol blinked, his mouth opening slightly in shock.

You leaned closer, pointing to one of the sketches. “Like, look at this one. That little furrow in your brow when you’re annoyed? Adorable. And here!” You flipped to another. “This one, where you’re mid-smirk? It’s like you’re plotting something, but it’s so soft at the same time. And this one…”

You kept going, your voice trailing into near-obsessive detail about every single expression you’d captured. The way his lips curved when he was amused. The slight tilt of his head when he was curious. The barely-there pout when he was annoyed. Each word only made the lovesickness in your voice more obvious.

You caught yourself—barely—and let out a sheepish laugh, trying to backpedal. “I mean… Sol, you’re just… really cute, okay?” You smiled, hoping to play it cool, but the way your heart pounded in your chest wasn’t helping.

Sol stared at you, his face quickly turning an intense shade of red. He looked like he wanted to say something, but the words just… weren’t coming.

Instead, he sat there, completely speechless. His ears burned red as he glanced between you and the sketchpad, frozen in place.

You leaned back, smirking as you tried to hide how flustered you were. “What, no snarky comeback? Cat got your tongue?”

Sol looked away quickly, burying his face in his hands with a muffled groan.

Your heart sank as you realized you might have overdone it. Sol was still red, his hands covering his face, and for a moment, he seemed smaller than his usual confident self.

“Ah, I—” you stammered, your voice softer now. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to come off, uh, intense or anything.” You rubbed the back of your neck awkwardly, looking down at your sketchpad like it was a guilty accomplice. “I just… got carried away. You’re really cool, Sol, and I—���

You cut yourself off, biting your lip. You didn’t want to scare him off. Sol wasn’t like this when he was around other people. It was rare to catch him vulnerable like this—unguarded. And now you were worried you might’ve ruined it by being too much.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” you added quickly, your voice almost a whisper.

Sol finally lowered his hands, his expression unreadable for a second. His gaze flickered to you, then to the sketchpad, and back again. He blinked a few times, his blush still lingering.

“You… didn’t scare me,” he said, his voice quieter than usual. “I just… wasn’t expecting that.”

You froze, not entirely sure how to respond.

He glanced away, rubbing the back of his neck this time, mirroring your earlier nervousness. “I mean, it’s not every day someone… notices things like that about me.”

Your heart skipped a beat. He wasn’t mad. He wasn’t pulling away.

“Still,” you said with a soft chuckle, trying to lighten the mood, “I’ll tone it down. Promise. You’re just… interesting to draw, that’s all.” You paused before adding, “And, uh, to talk to. If that wasn’t obvious.”

For a moment, the awkward tension melted away. Sol leaned back slightly, still blushing but less defensive now. “Just… don’t let Hyugo see those sketches, okay? I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Deal,” you said with a laugh, relieved that the moment hadn’t ruined anything. If anything, it felt like you’d taken a step closer to understanding him—the real Sol, beneath all the bravado.

Sol leaned back in his chair, his usual cool demeanor cracking just a bit. "Alright, who's going first? You sketching me, or am I sketching you?"

You grinned, already pulling out your sketchbook and a charcoal pencil. "Guess that answers your question."

He raised a brow. “Want me to pose or something?”

“Nah, just sit however you want. It’s fine.” You waved him off casually, but your focus sharpened as you scanned his face, taking in every detail.

The way his jet-black hair fell in a soft cascade over his shoulders, streaked with green that caught the light just right—it was mesmerizing. His bangs framed his face, that one streak cutting down the middle and drawing attention to his eyes. And those eyes, with their burning orange inner ring fading to crimson at the edges, like embers glowing in a dying fire, they were impossible to look away from. His jawline was sharp but not harsh, balanced by the soft curve of his lips, which always seemed to rest in a mix of a pout and a smirk.

He was... handsome. And you couldn’t help but stare.

Too long, apparently.

Sol turned his head suddenly, catching you red-handed. His expression twisted into something flustered, and he turned away,

"Eyes on me!"

Sol blinked, jolted out of his daze. “Oh—sorry. I’m, uh, not used to staring at someone for that long.”

You tried to laugh it off, but your voice came out awkward. "“You know, just your boring face and all.” I got it! My face is boring!"

Sol turned back toward you, his cheeks tinged pink as he gave you a shy glance. “Your face isn’t boring,” he muttered, almost too softly for you to hear. “It’s… more… beautiful.”

Your heart slammed against your chest. Heat flooded your cheeks, and for a moment, you felt like you might combust on the spot. You stared at him, utterly frozen, the charcoal pencil trembling slightly in your hand.

Oh my god, I’m dying. This is it. I’m dying. Again. For the millionth time.

You tried to recover, puffing out your cheeks in mock frustration to defuse the tension. “Nope. Not doing this. You’re not allowed to be cute while I’m trying to work.”

Sol smiled—really smiled—and it was devastating. Soft, genuine, and just shy enough to make your heart stutter.

And then, as if to finish you off completely, you almost missed the way his eyes lingered on you. They were hazy, love-drunk, filled with something dangerously soft and unspoken.

Oh, you sick bastard, Sol, you thought, trying not to let your face give away the chaos in your head. I love you for that.

You started sketching, letting the charcoal glide over the paper with care that bordered on reverence. Each stroke of the pencil became a quiet obsession, capturing the slight arch of his brow, the curve of his jaw, the sharp bridge of his nose that added so much character to his face.

Your fingers moved instinctively, but your mind was a storm.

This won’t be enough.

You paused, glancing up at him again. His face was relaxed, but there was a faint curiosity in his eyes as he tried to stay still for you. That softness in his expression—it was the kind that sent a thrill down your spine. It wasn’t just a face you wanted to draw; it was him.

Your chest tightened. No amount of sketches could ever capture him fully. His little mannerisms, the way his lips twitched slightly when he was lost in thought, how his lashes cast shadows across his cheekbones when he glanced away—how could charcoal and paper ever do justice to that?

No drawing will ever be enough until I get you. All of you.

You swallowed hard, your pencil slowing for a moment as you scanned his face again, letting your gaze linger just a second too long. His expression shifted slightly—was that a flicker of unease? Or maybe curiosity?

You smiled softly, trying to mask the possessive edge in your thoughts. “Sorry. Just trying to get it perfect.”

Sol tilted his head, his lips twitching into a small smirk. “Take your time. Not like I’m going anywhere.”

Oh, you’re not. Not now, not ever.

The thought burned in your chest as you leaned closer, focusing on the details. The dip of his collarbone where it peeked from his shirt, the way his hair caught the faint light from the window, framing his face like a portrait already waiting to be hung. Your pencil moved with an almost feverish precision, each stroke pulling you deeper into your fixation.

And yet, it still wasn’t enough.

You let out a shaky breath, glancing up at him one more time. He caught your gaze this time, and his eyes softened. “How’s it going?”

“Fine,” you murmured, your voice quieter than you meant it to be.

But in your mind, a different answer screamed: It’s not enough. I need more.

You quickly looked back at your sketchpad, your cheeks burning, hoping the intensity of your thoughts wasn’t plastered all over your face.

The bell rang, slicing through the quiet moment between you and Sol. You startled slightly, realizing how much time had passed, and quickly closed your sketchbook.

"Alright, we’re done for now," you said, tucking the pencil into your bag.

Sol leaned forward, his curiosity practically radiating off him. “Wait—can I at least peek?”

You shook your head firmly. “Nope.”

“Boo,” he said, pouting in a way that almost felt illegal. The exaggerated downturn of his lips, the wide-eyed pleading look—it was devastating.

You sighed heavily, knowing you were no match for that expression. “Fine. Just a peek. But no judging, alright?”

He grinned triumphantly as you opened the sketchbook, angling it toward him. His gaze settled on the page, and for a moment, he didn’t say anything. He just stared.

“Wow,” he finally breathed, his voice low and almost awed. “You… you drew this? Like, just now?”

You tried to play it off, shrugging like it wasn’t a big deal, but your heart raced. “Yeah, it’s just a rough piece. Nothing special.”

His eyes didn’t leave the sketch. “Nothing special? Are you kidding me? It’s—” He paused, his brow furrowing slightly. “It’s perfect. You captured… everything.”

Your chest tightened at his words, but you fought to keep your expression neutral. Instead, you just smiled weakly and looked away, your thoughts a whirlwind. Of course, I captured everything. I’ve drawn you so many times, Sol. In my mind, in my journals. You’re practically etched into my soul.

“It’s not that great,” you muttered, trying to dismiss his praise.

He blinked at you, his expression shifting from awe to disbelief. “No. It’s good. Actually, it’s better than good.”

You opened your mouth to argue, but he shook his head, cutting you off. “It’s better than anything I’ve ever drawn.”

Your eyes widened. “Get the fuck out.”

“No, I’m serious!” he said, looking at you earnestly. “It’s amazing, and—wait, you think I’m talented?”

You froze for a split second, and then words tumbled out of your mouth before you could stop them. “I mean, yeah. Your portrait which I st—uh, think!—is really good.”

You coughed mid-sentence, your throat suddenly dry as panic set in. Sol’s eyes widened, and he immediately jumped up, grabbing a bottle of water from his bag. “Hey, you okay? Here, drink this!”

You took the water, your hands brushing briefly as he handed it to you. His concern was palpable, his orange-red eyes scanning your face. You quickly gulped some water and waved a hand to reassure him. “I’m fine! Just… choked on my words. Literally.”

He frowned, clearly not convinced, but let it go.

You cleared your throat and tried to steer the conversation back. “Anyway, we’ve still got two more works to finish for this project. Let’s… exchange numbers so we can plan things out?”

Sol nodded, pulling out his phone. “Yeah, good idea.”

The exchange was quick, and within moments, your phone buzzed with a message.

Sup.

You stared at it, blinking, before a laugh bubbled out of you. “You type so differently than you talk.”

Sol raised an eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

"Nothing."

You glanced at Sol, who was now scrolling lazily on his phone, and a thought hit you like a freight train. He was so intriguing, so magnetic, but also… so misunderstood.

You couldn’t stop yourself from blurting out, “Y’know, I bet a lot of people mistake you for someone you’re not.”

He looked up, tilting his head curiously. “What do you mean?”

You hesitated, suddenly self-conscious under his gaze. “I mean… you come off as this super confident, kind of aloof guy, but you’re… more than that. People probably don’t take the time to really get you. To understand you.”

His brows furrowed slightly, and you felt your chest tighten. You hadn’t even planned this conversation, but now you were tumbling forward without brakes.

“And I… I want to be that person,” you said, your voice wavering. “I want to understand you, Sol. I want to know the real you. I want us to…” You paused, trying to swallow the lump in your throat. “…to be friends.”

The word friends fell from your lips like a rock, heavy and jagged. It sounded so wrong, so painfully inadequate for how you felt. You wanted to claw it out of the air and burn it before it could reach him. But what else could you say? You couldn’t just ask him to marry you on the first day you’d truly spoken.

Sol blinked, his expression softening. For a moment, you thought you saw a flicker of something deeper in his eyes, but then he smiled.

“So,” he said, leaning forward slightly, “let’s make today the start of something. The start of a wonderful friendship. What do you think, Y/N L/N?”

Your heart shattered into a million pieces.

Friendship?! FRIENDSHIP?! Your inner voice screamed, but outwardly, you managed a bright, almost too-cheerful nod. “Yeah! Of course!”

The smile on your face didn’t match the agony in your chest. You were happy to be close to him—really—but it wasn’t enough. Not when you wanted so much more.

Sol leaned back, his casual demeanor unchanged, you felt your heart breaking all over again. And yet, as painful as it was, you told yourself it was a start.

I’ll take this. For now.

But deep down, you couldn’t ignore the ache that wouldn’t go away. The way the word “friendship” echoed in your mind like a cruel joke. You wanted more, and the thought of settling for less was unbearable. Still, you smiled at him, masking the pain, determined to be patient.

Even if it killed you.

As you stood up, preparing to leave, a strange weight settled in your chest. Sol’s words echoed in your mind, the promise to see each other tomorrow. It was enough to make your heart ache, to feel something stir inside you that you weren’t sure how to handle. The idea of friendship—just friendship—with him made everything seem so much harder.

You gave him a smile, even though it felt like your insides were twisting in pain. “Will we see each other tomorrow? And… if it’s possible, could we hang out?” Your eyes were a little too soft, a little too vulnerable, and you couldn’t bring yourself to look him in the eye for fear of what would spill out.

His expression shifted, that familiar lack of emotion, the calm mask he wore all the time. It was hard to read, hard to decipher, but you didn’t need to. You already knew the answer. His expression was now full of...surprise, he answered faster than you expected!

“Ah! Yes, of course! See you tomorrow.” He gave a small nod, his voice reassuring but distant. You were sure he didn’t feel the same urgency, the same burning desire that you did.

You patted his shoulder, your fingers lingering for just a second longer than necessary. The sensation of his warmth sent a shockwave through you, and you fought to keep your cool. “See you tomorrow, Sol.”

You turned and left.

Your footsteps echoed in the hallway as you walked away, a slight frown pulling at your lips. The walls around you were decorated in some half-hearted Halloween theme—streamers, fake cobwebs, jack-o’-lanterns—but it all felt like a blur. You didn’t care about the decorations or the meaningless chatter around you. Everything felt muted, distant.

Then, as you pulled your phone from your pocket, a text from Crowe appeared, and your stomach twisted.

Crowe: "Waiting for you outside the gate."

It hit you like a punch to the gut. Crowe. Your friend. The one you’d always relied on, the one you cared about deeply. But now… you were torn. Torn between Crowe and Sol, between what had always been familiar and what was now irresistible, unsettling. You couldn’t lie to yourself: having a friendship with Sol was so distracting. Every time you saw him, you couldn’t focus, couldn’t think. It was overwhelming. And it was dangerous.

You cared for Crowe, too, didn’t you? Of course you did. He had always been there for you, your anchor in a sea of chaos. But… when you thought of Sol, when you remembered his gaze, the way he spoke to you, how he looked at you—how he made you feel—you couldn’t deny it anymore.

You stopped in the hallway. Your breath caught in your throat. The truth had become too real.

I’m choosing Sol over Crowe.

The thought was like a blade, cutting deep into your chest. It wasn’t that you didn’t care about Crowe. You did. You always had. But this… what you felt for Sol—this strange, insatiable need to be closer to him, to know him, to feel something more than friendship—was undeniable. Crowe had always been there, but Sol… he was different.

But now, you had a problem. A big problem.

You loved Crowe. Or, at least, you thought you did. And you couldn’t bear the thought of losing him, of him hating you, of him finding out about the way your heart raced when Sol was near. It was so unfair to Crowe, but you had to do it. You had to.

It was painful, but there was no other choice.

You took a deep breath, shaking your head as you walked toward the exit, your heart heavy with the weight of what you had to do. You couldn’t think of Sol anymore. You couldn’t let yourself be distracted.

You had to push Crowe away.

And the only way to do that was to make him hate you.

As the thought settled in your mind, you could feel your stomach churn. It hurt. It really hurt. But this was the only way to make sure you wouldn’t be distracted. To make sure you could stop yourself from falling any deeper.

You reached the gate, and Crowe was standing there, leaning casually against the wall. He looked up as he saw you approach, a smile lighting up his face. It made your chest tighten.

You hated what you were about to do. But you had no choice.

No one ever said love was easy.

It wasn't just for that.

He's watching, He's always is.

Crowe stood there, radiating his usual easygoing confidence. His bag was neatly placed on the ground, his posture upright and casual, arms held behind his back as he tapped his foot in quiet anticipation.

You felt like you were walking in a dream—or maybe a nightmare. Each step toward him was like dragging yourself through thick, suffocating fog. You were broken. Pieces of your heart scattered, and you didn’t even know how to piece them back together. You didn’t know what you were doing, what you even wanted anymore.

You finally reached him, forcing your voice to sound steady. “Crowe… what’s the work?”

Crowe blinked, clearly surprised. “Work?” His eyebrows furrowed, a flicker of concern crossing his face. “No, Y/N… I just wanted to hang out.”

The words stung like a slap, and a pang of guilt twisted in your chest. Just wanted to hang out.

But the words should’ve been comforting, right? Crowe was always like this—sweet, casual, like he cared. He never made things complicated, never put pressure on you, just wanting to spend time with you. And yet… there was that feeling gnawing at you. A feeling you couldn’t shake, no matter how hard you tried.

“I was thinking of taking you somewhere,” he continued, his voice lighter now. “There’s a neat park nearby. It’s a bit quieter. I can lead you there if you want.” His face lit up with excitement, and for a split second, you thought you saw something more.

Why was he so… excited?

Do you think…? No, it can’t be right.

You looked down at your feet, the weight of the situation sinking in. Regret gnawed at you, but you still smiled, trying to push the discomfort away. “Yeah… that sounds nice.”

Crowe grinned, his eyes bright with that familiar warmth. “Great! Let’s go then.”

Take his hand

TAKE HIS ARM

HAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

You bit your lip, trying to find an excuse, any excuse to create distance. You didn’t want to be close to him right now—not when your heart was torn between him and someone else. Not when you couldn’t stop thinking about Sol, and the pain of choosing between them was suffocating.

And then, a solution hit you.

“I’ll carry your bag,” you said quickly, as if the words could erase the guilt already creeping in. You didn’t wait for his protest, picking up the bag and holding it in your hands, keeping it between you and Crowe like a barrier.

He frowned, about to say something. “No, Y/N, you really don’t have to—”

“I insist,” you cut him off, your voice firmer than you felt. “It’s fine. Really.”

You couldn’t let yourself touch him, not right now. Not when your thoughts were so clouded with confusion and desire. You couldn’t let the connection between you two grow any deeper. You had to keep distance, even if it was just a simple gesture like this.

Crowe sighed but didn’t argue, following you with that same concerned look in his eyes.

This is the only way to make sure you won’t get distracted.

You tried not to think too much about how wrong it felt to avoid him like this, but every time you looked at Crowe, your heart sank a little more. He was your friend, your best friend, but the truth was, your feelings were too complicated, too mixed up now.

you walked side by side, the silence between you two felt heavy, suffocating. You tried to focus on the road ahead, telling yourself that this was the right thing to do.

Every step felt like you were walking further away from the person you used to be, a person who hadn’t been so consumed by obsession, by him.

How had it gotten this dark?

You couldn’t ignore the ache in your chest, the constant pull toward Sol. You kept thinking about him—his face, the way his eyes met yours with that unreadable expression, the way your heart had thundered when he leaned in closer, the way he seemed perfect. You hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him, not even for a second, and now—now everything else seemed to fade into the background.

You could almost picture it clearly: Sol, leaning down toward you, his lips just inches away, his eyes so intense as if he could feel what you were feeling. You felt your breath quicken, your heartbeat escalating, imagining the moment you would kiss him, desperate for his touch, for something real—something more.

But then, just as you were about to lose yourself in the fantasy, something yanked you back to reality.

Crowe’s hands were suddenly on your arms, pulling you back from the abyss of your thoughts. His grip was firm but gentle, as if afraid you might break under the weight of your own mind.

“Y/N…” he said, voice low, laced with concern. His eyes searched yours, his gaze soft but full of worry. “You’re… you’re making a really concerning expression right now.”

You blinked, feeling a strange, almost drooling sensation, like you were half there and half lost in some other world. You realized you’d been staring into nothing, your mind completely consumed by the image of Sol.

You couldn’t believe it. You couldn’t believe what was happening to you.

“Y/N, you…” Crowe hesitated, unsure how to put it into words. “You look… almost…” He trailed off, his voice a little shaky. “Disgusting?”

His words hit you like a bucket of ice water. Disgusting?

You felt a pit form in your stomach. What was wrong with you?

But Crowe didn’t leave it at that. He could see the confusion in your eyes, the hurt behind your forced smile, and he gently squeezed your arms. “No, Y/N. Nothing you do is disgusting, okay? Nothing.”

His words were meant to reassure you, but they only added to the chaos in your mind. It was almost like you wanted to believe him, but the truth was too overwhelming. You were becoming obsessed with Sol.

No shit sherlock!

You looked at Crowe, barely able to meet his gaze.

You kept walking, but something inside you pulled back. You felt like you were drifting away, each step carrying you further from reality. You heard Crowe's footsteps pause behind you, and when you turned around, his worried expression stopped you in your tracks. His brow furrowed, his mouth set in a firm line as he studied you.

Without warning, he grabbed your hand, his grip gentle yet insistent.

“I wanted to talk about you maybe trying out with our new friends,” Crowe began, his voice a little too calm, too measured. But there was something in his eyes—a flicker of concern—that made your stomach twist.

But he didn’t stop there. “But I won’t ignore the fact that you’ve been different for the past couple of months… something’s wrong.”

You froze, your heart racing. The evening sky had turned dark, the sun dipping below the horizon. Shadows stretched across the empty street as the quiet evening began to feel suffocating. You didn’t want to hear this. You didn’t want him to see through you.

“Ichabod,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper, as you tried to brush him off. "You’re wasting my time. I told you, I wanted to hang out. I came out for you." Your words sounded cold, distant, like you were trying to push him away. You weren’t sure anymore if you were trying to hide yourself from Crowe or from your own feelings.

Crowe’s eyes hardened, his jaw clenched as anger began to brew beneath the surface. “Tell me what’s really going on.” His voice was tight, almost accusing. “You’ve been acting off for weeks now. Something’s wrong, and you won’t even talk to me about it.”

His words dug deep, and you felt that same uncomfortable pressure in your chest.

You opened your mouth to say something—anything—but nothing came out. The thoughts in your head were too chaotic, too tangled.

“You’re just tired, right?” Crowe asked, his tone softening, but there was still an edge to it. “That’s why you’re being so cold, so distant?”

You didn’t answer. You didn’t know how to. You were exhausted—mentally, emotionally—but that wasn’t the only reason you were like this. The real truth was something you couldn’t even admit to yourself, let alone him. You couldn’t talk about it. You couldn’t say it aloud.

Without waiting for your response, Crowe let out a sigh, rubbing the back of his neck. “Look, we’re heading to the same place, but… this isn’t just to hang out. I’m not going to ignore the fact that you’re acting strange.”

Your heart sank. He had already figured it out.

Crowe’s words were sharper now, almost impatient, as if he was done pretending like everything was fine. “We’re going to talk. Not just waste time. We’re going to talk about what’s going on with you.”

Your body tensed. You felt the pressure of the moment building. You didn’t want to face this. You didn’t want to confront what was happening inside you, because the truth was far more complicated than you were ready to admit.

“I’m fine,” you said quickly, the lie tasting bitter on your tongue.

But Crowe wasn’t buying it. His expression was unreadable, but his grip on your hand remained firm, guiding you forward. You could feel him watching you, analyzing every movement, every word, trying to figure out the truth.

You stood there, staring up at the night sky, your thoughts drifting once again. The stars above were beautiful, too beautiful for what you were feeling. It felt like everything around you was so peaceful, so perfect—but inside, you were falling apart. You couldn’t stop thinking about Sol, the image of him haunting your mind as you pictured him in every corner of your thoughts.

You had to get home. You had to go back. You wondered if he had drugged the food yet, the thought making your stomach churn with an odd mixture of excitement and dread. Sol… you thought.

Why was I always thinking about him?

You chuckled softly to yourself, a laugh that didn’t feel like it belonged to you. The sound was hollow, almost insane in its desperation, and you had no control over it. The more you thought about him, the more you couldn’t stop imagining all the what ifs—what if you could be with him? What if you could make him yours?

You closed your eyes for a moment, the image of Sol’s face appearing before you, his expression warm, inviting, even though it was a fantasy.

You opened your eyes, and it was like you were in a trance. There was Crowe, standing beside you, watching you intently, his gaze sharp and focused. You didn’t notice him at first, lost in your own world, but when you did, you were startled by his expression. He was just standing there, his posture stiff as he watched you with a mixture of confusion and something darker.

His eyes narrowed, almost like he was trying to understand what was going on in your head. It was as if he saw something in you that you didn’t want to admit.

You couldn’t even hide it anymore. You were obsessed. You were lost in thoughts of Sol, and now Crowe could probably see it. He was watching you closely, almost like he was analyzing every move, every flicker of your gaze.

Crowe was silent for a moment, closing his eyes as though trying to calm himself down. He didn’t say anything, and neither did you. There was something heavy hanging between you two, something unspoken that made the air feel thick and suffocating.

You felt like you had been caught, but it wasn’t just about your actions anymore—it was about the part of you that was slipping away, the part of you that was losing its grip on reality. The part of you that was getting too close to Sol. Too obsessed.

You couldn’t even bring yourself to explain it. You couldn’t bring yourself to admit that the only thing on your mind right now was him, and you couldn’t lie to Crowe. But you couldn’t stop.

You were spiraling deeper into this madness, and the more you tried to pull yourself out, the further you fell.

Crowe didn’t speak, but his eyes were still on you, studying you with such intensity. The silence between you two was deafening, and it felt like you couldn’t escape from the weight of the moment. You didn’t know how much longer you could keep pretending everything was fine, because inside, everything was breaking apart.

Finally, Crowe sighed, his voice low and heavy. “Y/N…”

But you didn’t want to hear it. You didn’t want to hear him lecture you about your behavior, about how wrong you were, how obsessive you had become. Because you already knew. You already felt it. And the worst part was that you didn’t care.

You were too far gone.

Crowe coughed, a forced sound that echoed in the silence between you two, and the moment was ruined. The image of Sol, the one you had been fantasizing about just moments before, began to fade as you were pulled back into the present. You clenched your jaw, an unfamiliar anger bubbling up inside of you.

“What?” you snapped, your voice sharper than intended. The irritation was there, raw and unfiltered. He had broken your daydream—your escape.

Crowe, startled by your sudden outburst, looked away, his eyes betraying a hint of confusion and concern. “Y/N… what happened to you?” he asked, his voice softer now, but still laced with that underlying worry.

You immediately shut down, wanting nothing to do with the question. “Nothing’s wrong,” you muttered, your gaze already shifting back toward the stars, seeking refuge in the familiar expanse of the night sky. You sat down on the grass, trying to drown out the noise in your head.

Crowe didn’t stop. He sat beside you, his presence heavy as he continued to ask questions, trying to piece together the puzzle of what was going on with you. But you didn’t want to hear it. You didn’t want to think about it.

You buried yourself in the task of picking at the grass, mindlessly drawing out Sol’s name in the dirt with the tips of your fingers. Sol...

Your eyes softened as you traced the letters, the feeling of love and obsession creeping in once more. You didn’t care if it was unhealthy. You didn’t care that you were losing it. In that moment, Sol was everything.

Then, Crowe’s voice broke through again. “Y/N… I’m talking to you.”

You snapped your head toward him, your patience thinning. “Shut up,” you muttered, the words slipping from your mouth before you could even register them. He had ruined it again. He didn’t understand. He couldn’t understand.

Crowe went silent, and when you looked at him, you saw that his expression had shifted. He looked hurt—surprised, even. But that wasn’t what caught your attention. It was the way he was looking at you, as if he had just realized how different you had become.

Your heart skipped a beat. You knew. You saw it in his eyes, in the way he now regarded you. You were scary.

You suddenly felt that weight pressing down on your chest—the guilt, the realization of what you had just become. Your eyes, the same ones that hadn’t slept properly in days, were dark and haunted. You could feel the darkness inside you swirling, pulling you deeper into this obsession.

You felt the regret hit you like a wave, and without thinking, you..

Crowe’s eyes softened, and there was a painful hesitation in his voice. He looked at you, trying to piece together the person in front of him—the person you used to be. “What happened to you...?” His voice was tinged with sadness, something you had never heard from him before. It was like he was watching a stranger before him, and it made you feel... uncomfortable, uneasy.

You cocked your head slightly, feigning confusion, though deep down you knew exactly what he was getting at. “What do you mean?” you asked, your voice quieter now, as you tried to keep your emotions under wraps.

Crowe ran a hand through his hair, a sigh escaping his lips before he spoke again. “It’s just! Look at you! You’re... nowadays sleep-deprived, always walking away... One of the students even complained to the council that you were... laughing a lot in the restroom. You threatened them to be silent... This isn’t like you...” His voice faltered at the end, as if he were afraid to say too much, afraid of pushing you further.

You shrugged, trying to dismiss it. “Ah, so what?” You could feel the coldness creeping into your tone, but you couldn’t stop it. It wasn’t like you cared anymore.

“I’m not sure who you are anymore...” Crowe's words were heavy, like each one was a weight being pressed onto you. “You used to be a quiet, caring, bookworm artist who liked to listen... and a good child who cared about their father getting their land back. But now...” He trailed off, his voice thick with concern.

You stared at him, your expression hardening. “Ichabod, stop it... Crowe, what’s with you? What are you trying to say?” Your voice cracked slightly with frustration, but you didn’t let it show too much. You weren’t going to let him make you feel guilty, not when everything inside you was already breaking apart.

“You’re not yourself anymore,” he said, his voice quiet now, almost pleading. “Is there a reason...? You’ve become so... cold. Toward me too... You used to...”

The words hit you like a punch to the gut, but you refused to show any sign of weakness. You didn’t want to hear it. “You only know me for what you think,” you said through clenched teeth. “You don’t know me as a person. You don’t have the right to complain.”

Crowe’s face twisted, the hurt evident in his eyes as he took a step closer, his voice trembling. “Complain?! Y/N! I’m someone who cares about you! I’m worried about you!”

You couldn’t stop the bitter laugh that escaped your lips. “Cared?” you spat, the word leaving a bad taste in your mouth. “Don’t make me laugh, Crowe. Didn’t I just say? Friend... friend... friend...” The word felt like a poison on your tongue. You hated it, but you said it anyway.

He was taken aback, the raw emotion in his face faltering as he blinked at you, unsure how to respond. “Then... What am I to you?” His voice was shaky, desperate for an answer.

You looked at him, almost broken, as the answer came to you, something so twisted and bitter you couldn’t help but say it. “You WERE MY savior,” you said, your voice hollow. “A friend.” You looked away quickly, trying to hide the sinking feeling inside you. What have I become?

Crowe stood there for a moment, processing your words, before he shook his head slightly. “Then I guess... I don’t really know who you are anymore, Y/N. What you are...” His voice cracked. "I’m sorry for ruining your day.”

You didn’t know how to feel anymore. His words had hit you harder than anything, but you couldn’t bring yourself to show it. “Yeah, you don’t,” you whispered. Crowe was about to..leave but he held your arm.

Crowe’s grip on your arm tightened, his voice sharp and laced with panic. “What’s wrong with you?” he demanded, his face flushed with a mix of confusion and frustration. “Why are you acting like this? What happened to you?!”

His desperate eyes were searching yours, but all you could feel was anger and suffocating tension. You had enough of his questions, enough of his concern. You had too much of him in your life, and it was beginning to tear you apart. You couldn’t breathe in the face of it anymore.

"Shut up!" you screamed, the words ripping through the silence. "Shut up, Crowe! Just... shut up!"

You yanked your arm away from him, the fire in your chest growing. This wasn’t you, not the person he thought you were. Not anymore. You had changed, and he needed to accept it.

Crowe’s eyes widened in shock, but you couldn’t care less. He didn’t understand. He wouldn’t. You were done trying to explain yourself to someone who couldn’t see the chaos inside your mind.

Suddenly, you grabbed him by the collar, pulling him closer with force, your body trembling with the anger you could no longer suppress. “YOU’RE THE PROBLEM!” you screamed at him, your voice cracking. "YOU distract me, away from my life. You make everything so damn complicated! I want to focus on something, but you keep getting in my way! You make everything harder!"

Tears welled in your eyes, but you fought them back, gritting your teeth. “I DON’T WANT FRIENDS! LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!”

Your breath came in shallow gasps as you shoved him away, forcing yourself to take a step back. You grabbed your bag, clutching it tightly as if it were the last thing keeping you grounded.

Crowe stood frozen, his face pale, looking as if your words had physically struck him. But his voice was quiet, almost resigned. “Have fun with the group of people you’re trying to fix,” you spat bitterly. “But stay the hell away from me. I’m done.”

You turned sharply, your heart hammering in your chest as you walked away, the cold night air hitting your face, but you barely felt it. Your legs carried you without thought, away from Crowe, away from the situation you had created.

“Have fun with your new friends. I’m telling you this now... if you want to live happily... Stay with them. I’m done for.”

And with that, you walked away, your heart torn in two but your mind resolute. You didn’t look back. You couldn’t afford to.

You made it home, the door slamming shut behind you as you staggered into the dimly lit living room. The emptiness felt like it was swallowing you whole, but it was the kind of emptiness you had grown used to. The kind that didn't scream for attention, just quietly gnawed at your soul.

You collapsed to the floor, pulling your knees to your chest as your body shook. The tears came like a dam breaking open—heavy, hot, and relentless. It wasn’t just from the fight with Crowe, not just because of the raw pain in your chest. No, it was because you had to do it. You had to push him away, had to convince yourself that you hated him. You had to protect him.

It wasn’t like you didn’t care about Crowe; it was the opposite. You cared too much. And that kind of care was dangerous when you had someone like Sol watching you from the shadows, his jealousy like a burning fuse ready to snap at any moment. You had seen it, the way he watched Crowe, the way his eyes hardened whenever his name was mentioned.

Sol could never find out about Crowe. If Sol knew, he would kill him—you were sure of it. And that couldn’t happen. Not while you still had this insane, twisted obsession with Sol. The last thing you wanted was to lose the only person who made you feel something in this chaotic mess of emotions.

and to be peaceful with sol.

You wiped your eyes with the back of your hand, taking a shuddering breath as you reached for the small pile of things you had been hiding in your bag. It was a strange collection: a piece of bandage you had stolen from the nurse’s office, a pencil Sol had left on his desk, a scrap of paper with a doodle of his—just things, little things. But to you, they were treasures. They were all you had left of him.

Hugging them to your chest, you buried your face in the soft bandage. His scent lingered faintly on it, something sharp and comforting. The smell of Sol. The smell of everything you wanted. It calmed the storm inside your head, at least for a moment.

Your mind wandered, thoughts growing hazy as the delusions crept in. You imagined Sol with you, imagined him loving you, imagined a life where he saw you as something more than just an object of desire. But that was all it would ever be—delusion. And yet, it felt so real, so comforting in that moment of weakness.

You clung to the bandage tighter, your tears soaking into the fabric. You couldn’t stop it. You wanted to scream, to let it all out, but the sensation of holding onto something—anything—was a distraction. It kept you from falling apart completely.

And in that moment, despite the overwhelming sadness, you felt a twisted sense of gratitude. “Thank God…” you whispered, your voice cracking. You didn’t even know what you were thankful for...

You sat there in the darkness of your room, the weight of the bandage pressing against your chest as you clutched it tighter, your fingers trembling with a twisted sense of ownership. The smell of Sol was still faint on the fabric, but to you, it was everything. It was him, in your hands, in your arms, in your mind.

A sick, deranged smile stretched across your lips, creeping its way into your expression as you hugged the bandages closer. The soft, comforting scent of Sol's presence made your heart race, and every thought felt like a desperate plea to keep him to yourself, to make him yours. It didn’t matter that you knew how wrong it all was; it didn’t matter that you were sinking deeper into this madness. In this moment, you were consumed, body and soul, by the idea of him.

You could almost see him—feel him—right next to you. The way his eyes would soften when he looked at you, how his voice would whisper your name in that quiet, gentle way, if only he knew how much you loved him. The fantasies played in your mind like a twisted film reel, each scene more vivid, more real than the last.

“Sol...” you whispered, barely able to keep the name from slipping off your tongue. “You’re mine, aren’t you?”

Your voice was soft, almost reverent, but there was a madness in your eyes. Your pupils dilated as your smile deepened, the corners of your mouth stretching until it felt like your face couldn’t contain the longing and obsession.

The bandage in your hands was no longer just a piece of cloth. It was a symbol. A symbol of the twisted bond you had with him, the bond you were building, even if he didn’t know it. You felt your chest tighten, your breath hitching in your throat. You imagined what it would be like when he finally realized—when he finally saw you, truly saw you, not just as a fleeting moment in his life, but as the one who loved him the most, the one who would never let him go.

Your mind raced, wild and untamed, thoughts spiraling in a whirlpool of desperation. What would you do if he knew? Would he ever love you back, or would he push you away like everyone else had? No. You wouldn’t let that happen.

You could feel a twinge of possessiveness, something dark and primal clawing at your insides, as you pressed the bandage to your face, inhaling deeply.

I need him. I need him so much…

A bitter laugh bubbled up from deep within your throat, a hollow sound that echoed around the room, dark and twisted. “I’ll make sure no one takes you from me. Not anyone. You’ll be mine, Sol. Forever...”

You closed your eyes, your fingers clutching the bandage as if it were the most precious thing in the world. A tear slipped down your cheek, though it wasn’t from sadness. It was from the overwhelming need, the obsessive desire that consumed every corner of your heart.

You smiled again, slower this time, as you whispered to the empty room, “You’ll see... You’ll see, Sol. We’re meant to be. You have me in your order already.."

The sudden buzz of your phone broke through the fog of obsession, pulling you back to reality with a jolt. Your heart skipped a beat as you saw Crowe’s name flash on the screen. You felt a rush of panic that surged through your chest like ice-water.

Shit.

You quickly unlocked your phone, your fingers trembling as you read his message. "Hey, can I add you to the group chat with the others? Just thought it’d be fun to hang out more!"

You stared at the words, each syllable clawing at you.every interaction with Crowe felt like another chain around your neck, pulling you further away from Sol, from the delusion of him.

Your heart raced, a sick, suffocating feeling creeping up your throat. You couldn't afford to keep Crowe close. He was a distraction. The more you interacted with him, the more dangerous it became. Sol was always watching, always simmering in the background, and you couldn’t risk him finding out about Crowe. No more distractions.

Before you could stop yourself, your fingers moved faster than your mind. You typed the word “no” before deleting the message, quickly following up by erasing his contact entirely.

Done. That’s it. No more Crowe.

You breathed a sigh of relief—for now. You thought you could relax. You thought you could get back to your twisted little world with Sol, without anyone else interfering.

But then it happened.

The sickening realization hit you like a brick to the chest.

SHIT.

Crowe had added you to the group chat before you deleted his contact.

Your heart sank. You cursed under your breath, panic bubbling up inside you. You immediately opened the group chat, only to be greeted by a flood of messages. His name was there, right at the top of the list, and your chest tightened as you saw a few of the others already chatting away.

The chat was buzzing with messages about the Halloween party at school this Friday. The excitement was palpable, everyone discussing costumes, plans, and what to expect. You couldn’t help but feel a twinge of anticipation in the air as you scrolled through the messages, catching bits and pieces of the conversation.

Your mind drifted, and a thought struck you suddenly—maybe I should ask him to come with me.

Without a second thought, you quickly snapped a screenshot of the party announcement that Deryl had sent earlier, one with all the details. You attached it to the message and sent it in the group chat, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe you weren’t just sharing the information with the others.

Almost immediately, your phone buzzed with a response from Sol.

“A Halloween Party hosted by the school?” he asked, his message clear and direct, as always.

You felt a small spark of hope rise within you. Maybe this could be the perfect chance.

You sent another message, your fingers hovering over the keyboard as you typed, asking if Sol had eaten yet. It felt like a random question, but your mind was racing, eager for some kind of connection.

You kept sending little questions, almost aimlessly—anything to keep the conversation going. It felt like you were trying to fill the silence, but deep down, you knew what you were really doing.

You were craving his attention, his responses. You couldn’t help it.

"I'm not quite into parties," Sol replied after a moment, his words calm but distant.

"Oh... Well, that's alright, just asking, that's all," you quickly typed back, trying not to sound disappointed, though a part of you was.

Then, to your surprise, another message came in almost immediately.

"Wait."

Your heart skipped a beat.

"If you're coming, then I'm coming as well."

The words sent a wave of excitement through you. He’s coming?!

"Really?!" you typed, almost too quickly, feeling a smile tug at your lips.

"Really," he replied, and for a moment, you felt your stomach flip.

"Do you plan on dressing up?" you asked, the curiosity getting the best of you.

"I don't know. Do you?" he responded.

"I mean, it's a costume party. Why not?" you replied, enthusiasm creeping into your tone.

"I'll think of something then," he said, and you could almost hear the slight smile in his words.

You hesitated for a moment, not sure whether to push Sol into the idea of going to the party. It felt like too much pressure, so you decided to soften your approach.

"It’s fine if you don’t want to come..." you typed, trying to make it sound casual. You didn’t want to make him feel obligated, but you couldn’t deny the ache in your chest at the thought of being alone at the party.

"Pardon?" he responded quickly, a bit confused. You could almost picture the raised eyebrow from him, a slight shift in tone.

"I mean, it’s Friday, so it’s the weekend, right?" You continued, trying to hide the vulnerability behind your words. "We could still hang out without going to the party. I just... didn’t want to be lonely."

There it was, the truth spilling out, but also a part of you knowing it was a perfect excuse for your real intentions. You needed Sol close. You needed him to understand that Crowe was out of the picture, that no one else could get in the way.

He was quiet for a moment, then typed: "Do you want to hang out with me?"

Your heart skipped. You didn't even hesitate.

"Yes," you typed, without a second thought. It was like you were dropping the last of your guard, exposing the raw, desperate need for his presence.

But deep down, you also knew you were playing the game just right. You were making sure to look like you were alone, like you didn’t have anyone else in your life. Crowe was out, and now Sol could see how easy it would be for him to sweep in. He’ll understand, you thought to yourself. I’m the fresh rabbit, and he’s always watching.

Your thoughts wandered to your conversation. You knew Sol liked horror films, he’d mentioned it before. You felt a surge of inspiration.

"What about a horror movie?" you asked casually. "You know, something fun, something we can watch while hanging out?"

There was a slight pause before he replied. And then it came.

"I guess I could do that...," he typed, and for the first time, there was something different in his words. It was as if he wasn’t just dry and indifferent anymore. He sounded... slightly interested.

It made your heart flutter. He’s cute, you thought to yourself, smiling as you typed.

You slipped into the kitchen, eyes scanning the food you had prepared earlier. You opened the containers, one after another, heart thudding in your chest. But it wasn’t touched. Not a single bite.

Your chest tightened as you checked another batch, and then another. The seals were intact. Nothing had been opened.

He’s not coming tonight.

You felt the realization hit you like a wave. The silence of the empty space was deafening, and you wanted to scream, to cry, to lash out at the crushing disappointment. But instead, you swallowed it all, letting the heaviness settle deep within.

Grabbing something quick to eat, you barely tasted it. The food turned to ash in your mouth as you moved to your room. The quiet was unbearable. You needed to do something—anything to distract yourself from the longing, the ache that refused to go away.

You sank to the floor, pulling your sketchbook and supplies toward you. The charcoal pencil felt familiar in your fingers, a lifeline. You began to draw, the lines forming without thought, your hands moving like a machine. Stroke after stroke, his face emerged on the paper. Sol.

His soft, yet piercing eyes. The way his lips held a hint of mystery, the curve of his jawline—strong but refined. Every detail you etched felt like worship, your devotion spilling onto the page. You poured yourself into the drawing, the room around you fading away until there was only him.

When it was done, a small, trembling smile tugged at the corners of your lips. You stared at the portrait, your sleepless eyes red and raw, but filled with an almost manic satisfaction.

Slowly, you hugged the portrait to your chest, clutching it as though it were him. The paper crinkled slightly under your grip, but you didn’t care. You kissed the charcoal lips on the drawing, your own trembling, tears sliding down your cheeks.

"Please... just be mine already," you whispered brokenly, your voice trembling with desperation. "I can’t wait anymore, Sol. I... I’ll do anything, just tell me what you want. Tell me, Please."

You stared into the lifeless eyes of the portrait, waiting for it to answer, to give you some sign. But of course, it was silent. You begged again, your tears smudging the edges of the drawing.

"Say something... please," you choked out.

But the portrait didn’t speak. It remained still, just like the real Sol—always so close, yet so far.

Curling around the paper, you let out a soft, pained sob. The ache in your heart felt unbearable, but you couldn’t stop. This obsession, this need—it had consumed you entirely. And no matter how much it hurt, you didn’t want it to stop. You wanted to push yourself with work.

The laundry room was quiet, the steady hum of the machine and the rhythmic sloshing of water the only sounds accompanying your thoughts. You moved mechanically, pulling clothes from the hamper, sorting them into piles, trying to ignore the lingering haze of obsession that clouded your mind.

I can’t keep going like this... you thought to yourself, folding one of your shirts. I need to focus on normal things. Normal people do laundry. Normal people don’t... don’t...

Your train of thought derailed as your hands brushed the fabric of a familiar piece of clothing. You frowned slightly, realizing something was missing. The set wasn’t complete. You glanced at the piles, searching, your hands moving faster, more frantic. Something wasn’t right.

Quickly, you abandoned the laundry, heading to your cupboard to double-check. You rifled through your drawers, tossing clothes aside until you found what you were looking for—or rather, what you weren’t finding. One of your shirts—your favorite, the one you wore at home—was gone.

At first, you froze, confusion flashing through you. Then, slowly, your lips parted into a soft giggle. Your face flushed as the realization dawned on you.

Oh, Sol...

A hand flew to your mouth as a giddy, almost delirious laugh escaped your lips. Your knees buckled, and you sat down in front of the cupboard, staring at the empty space where that clothing should’ve been.

He took it again. He stole it. That adorable little thief... How cute.

Your blush deepened as you thought about it. He can’t help himself, can he? It’s unfair... You glanced toward your bed, where the collection of his things was hidden away. He gets to take my clothes, and I only have his bandages and a pencil. It’s not enough.

You hugged your knees, staring dreamily at the laundry pile. The fabric, the scent, the soft feeling—it all reminded you of him. You let out a small, love-struck sigh, the flush on your face deepening.

"Oh, Sol," you murmured to yourself, your voice barely above a whisper. "When will you realize you already have me entirely like this? And yet, you still sneak and steal like a kid... You’re so cute."

For a moment, the world outside of Sol ceased to exist. Crowe, the laundry, your day-to-day life—it all faded into nothingness. There was only Sol. Your heart raced as you stood, your movements purposeful now. You opened the cupboard and pulled out the box where you kept his things—your most precious treasures. The bandages, his pencil, a tiny doodle of his you’d swiped from class. All of it.

You sat on the ground and opened your journal. The familiar pages greeted you, filled with sketches, notes, little scraps of his life that you’d painstakingly collected. Each page was a testament to your obsession, your devotion.

But this journal was full now, the last page crammed with your thoughts about him. There was no more room to document the all-encompassing love you felt. You smiled softly, running your fingers over the cover before carefully placing it into the box with the rest of the treasures.

"Time for a fresh start," you whispered to yourself.

You pulled out a new journal, the pages pristine and blank, waiting to be filled. You grabbed a pen and carefully wrote "Sol" on the first page in your neatest handwriting.

"Yay!" you said aloud, a childlike excitement bubbling up as you hugged the new journal to your chest. You tucked the box away in the cupboard and stood, a sense of accomplishment warming you. This is perfect. It’s all for you, Sol.

The day’s events had left you feeling drained, but for the first time in what felt like months, it wasn’t a bad kind of exhaustion. It was the sort that pulled you to the ground with a soft, irresistible weight. You lay down, clutching the sketch of Sol you’d finished earlier, holding it close like a lifeline.

You stared at it for a moment, tracing the lines with your fingers. His eyes, his lips, his hair—it was all there, captured perfectly. You pressed a kiss to the paper, your eyes fluttering closed.

"I love you," you whispered to the drawing, your voice barely audible. "One day, it’ll be real..."

The tears that slipped down your cheeks weren’t sad this time. They were soft, almost sweet, as you hugged the drawing closer and allowed your exhaustion to take over.

For the first time in what felt like forever, you drifted into sleep, clutching Sol’s likeness to your chest. Your dreams were filled with him, his presence warm and consuming, just like always. But this time, there was a strange comfort in it. The kind that made you feel like you were exactly where you were meant to be.

[wolvesofinnistrad]

Weve talked to death why Tommys view on the breakup wqs in character. And tbh I actually rhink "not fighting for a relationship" and "pining over someone that dumped him" fits Exactly in Bucks character especially if we compare Tommy and Abby.

What I DONT get is why everyone else is so out of character about their breakup.

Lets start from the top. Eddie quickly became very good friends with Tommy, to the point that Tommy is the 3rd and only guest besides Buck at the virtual Chris bday party. Eddie clearly spends a lot of his time both with Tommy, and with Bucktommy together, so why is he not eager to see them patch things up? The man that said "call tommy" while wagging his finger at Buck and fought for them before they even got together. Why is he now playing keepaway with Bucks phone so he cant call Tommy?

Maddie knows Buck was crazy over this guy and her only advice is "you should babysit my kid to get over it." Like come on... she let him invite Tommy to her own wedding, thats a big deal, hes her little brother with abandonment issues and she doesnt even really care? The only excuse i can see is yeah, she jjst found out she spregnant so maybe we can let her slide but its still odd.

Speaking of Maddie, why was Chimney virtually silent about this. One of his oldest frienda (because yes Tommy and Chim are friends) and his brother in law broke up and all he cares about is getting free baked goods? That doesnt make sense.

Bobby acts as if Buck should be getting over Tommy when he practixally gave Tommy the best approval last season eith that "Tommy is good people" line and more. And now he just... doesnt care that Buck got his heart broken again?

Where was the Hen and Karen and Buck daydrinking acene where they discuss the volatility of queer relationships? Where was ANY form of queer solidarity between Hen and Buck? We never even seen them discuss tommy or Bucks bisexuality? Henrens only comments on the entire development were the "about time" aside at the wedding and the deleted scene. Buck just hqd his first queer relationship and we dont get even a single scene of Hen and Buck together discussing the importance of this? She doesnt want him to fight for Tommy the way her and Karen fought for each other?

It all just feels so out of character for everyone to suddenly not give a shit. But then again it feels like most people dont interact except for when theyre forced to by the plot this season.

[drcuriousvii]

I think the crux of the matter is more that just, D&D (and pretty much all RPGs) are, by nature, inherently opinionated about the kind of story they want to tell. Regardless of the setting set dressing you use, if you play Dungeons and Dragons Fifth Edition and make use of the core, basic mechanics, there are several assumptions that are baked into the game about the kind of story you want to tell - that players are controlling distinct individuals and reacting to the world, that actions with uncertain chances of success will occur, that the degree of uncertainty can be changed by circumstance, that the outcome of attempting these uncertain actions is typically binarily categorized into 'success' or 'failure', that these actions are resolved non-simultaneously, and so on.

While various systems are optional to the core gameplay, and the text even calls attention to some of them, if you look at what systems are actually present for inclusion or exclusion there's also a clear focus on combat (of the skirmish variety) and exploration of dungeon or wilderness environments. There's not an optional social combat system presented in the player's handbook, or a drop-in economic model for if a player establishes a keep, or things like that. There's firearms and laser pistols, and sanity for if you find any eldritch spookums, and different paces of resting to regain your actions and spell slots. This makes sense, because it's ultimately, yknow, Dungeons and Dragons. It's derived from Gary Gygax's dungeon crawling miniature skirmish game. It's telling a specific kind of story - a story about going somewhere, fighting guys, acquiring material wealth and getting stronger to do it again.

Could you tell, for instance, a love story, in D&D? You could undeniably do so in the social framework of what we understand as Dungeons and Dragons - I'm given to understand it's quite popular, with certain values of 'love story' - but with the actual gameplay mechanics of Dungeons and Dragons the published game by Wizards of the Coast, there's no real support for it! You would either be homebrewing your own full game for the type of story you want to tell from scratch, importing systems from other game(s) that you should probably just be playing instead, or doing freeform RP and occasionally stopping to clumsily attempt to make concessions to the game system you're nominally using when you encounter a situation with which the rules are actually concerned (this is the approach a lot of 5e podcasts seem to take).

D&D is less of a Golden Corral (which some systems do attempt to be with, I am told, very mixed results) and more of a frozen yogurt shop. There's certainly customization - there's a toppings bar - but at the end of the day it's still a dessert. It's frozen yogurt, in different flavors, with sweet (or sweet-complementing) toppings on it. You're never going to get authentic Mexican cooking out of a frozen yogurt shop no matter what combination of flavors and toppings you try, and the closest you could get to it is not very close at all.

And in trying to market itself as either a universal roleplaying game or a game focused on character's social interactions, personalities, et al., 5e is also more like a frozen yogurt shop making a huge marketing push to position itself as the best pizzeria in the city. And every time you say you'd like pizza, your friends go 'hey, why don't we try that one that's advertising everywhere?', and you have to explain that it's a frozen yogurt shop. And they either don't believe you, try to get pizza there, fail, and are disappointed; they bring their own pizza that they made at home or got from another restaurant, pay full price for a frozen yogurt that they don't eat, and say that you were wrong for thinking it couldn't be a pizza place; or they just eat there anyway because they like frozen yogurt too. I don't know. This reblog is kind of falling apart.

im confused about the dnd 5e hatred. yall arent just ignoring rules that are dumb? ur dm actually follows every single thing in the book for real?

if you have to ignore some of the rules for the game to be good then the game is not good

[novvabee]

And They Were Roommates pt.10

summary: friendsgiving, you meet all the slytherins, this kinda doesn't contain a lot, just meeting new characters and wholesome interactions, i might make a part two to this lmao

cw: casual drinking? firewhisky is mentioned but you can interpret it in any way you want really

word count: 2.1k

“Stop that, Siri,” you scolded, swatting at his hand, “It’ll never boil if you keep stirring it.”

You were at the stove, boiling water for potatoes, or trying to at least. Sirius, bless him, wanted to help out, but he was really just in the way if not a downright hazard in the kitchen. 

“You told me to boil and stir, those are my duties and I take them very seriously.” He said with a chuckle at the last part. You rolled your eyes and scooted him out of the way.

You had already baked a lovely cake, and helped James cook some chicken and pasta, the last thing you had to make were the mashed potatoes. Remus had cooked up some veggies and was storing them in the warmer.

About a week ago, you suggested a “friendsgiving” to the boys. They had no idea what you were talking about, staring at you and blinking blankly as you explained the concept. You just wanted to have your friends over, all under one roof, and eat yummy food and play fun games. It sounded easy, in theory, but it turned out to be a lot more work than you were expecting, especially since one of the three boys could not cook to save his life. You decided to put Sirius in charge of drinks and entertainment and that appeased him. 

The house was a rush for a couple days, you all decorated and figured out recipes you were going to make for the whole group. Then there was the inviting everyone and setting a time that everyone was available. It was like herding cats.

Your friends, Mary, Lily, and Marlene, were all easy. They communicated and organized and everything went off without a hitch. But Sirius wanted to invite his brother and some friends that you had yet to meet and they seemed…. Well a little less communicative and organized, but that was apparently very normal for them, none of the boys were upset by it.

“Remus,” you called into the other room. The tall boy appeared on the doorway in an instant. “Would you please help me finish the food?” you asked sweetly, batting your lashes to really drive it home.

Remus smirked and rolled his eyes. “Only if I have to.” he replied jokingly.

Sirius whined from beside you where Remus was now moving him out of the way. “Well what am I supposed to do?” he said, pushing out his bottom lip in a fake pout.

You looked at him and smiled, knowing his antics, he was only wanting to stay in the kitchen so he could “test” everything you were making. “Why don't you help James?” you suggested. James was in the living room, setting up some fall-ish decor which included strings of leaves he found outside. He claimed the colors were too pretty to be left out in the cold, so he hung them up insead. It was cute. 

Sirius huffed and exited the kitchen. You continued on cooking, a little faster and more efficient now that Remus was actually helping you. It was a little while later, as you were finishing up, you heard some muffled arguing in the other room. You and Remus gave each other a confused look, then went to go and see what all the commotion was.

You entered the living room and it was completely transformed into a fall wonderland. There were strings of leaves hung up across the ceiling, carved little woodland creatures strewn about, candles lit everywhere, and a fire stoked in the fireplace. The room had a warm glow to it. You stood there in awe, taking it all in. Maybe you should put Sirius on decorating duty more often.

“How did you do all this? And.. you were in here for like ten minutes, how?” you asked, still in shock.

Sirius smirked at you. “Magic,” he drawled, shoving what looked like one of the decorative sticks into his back pocket. James shook his head at Sirius, and Remus coughed from beside you. You couldn’t believe it, he and James must have worked really fast. 

Your attention was drawn to the door, hearing a knock and some cheerful chatter. You smiled, instantly knowing who it was.

You opened the door and were met with the sight of Mary, Lily, and Marlene, all holding dishes they made.

“Hello love!” Mary sang, kissing you on the cheek before stepping inside. You hugged both Marlene and Lily and let them in as well. 

“I can’t believe you actually live with them,” Marlene said to you while handing her dish off to James. “I mean, if you ever need an escape, just let me know and you can come stay with me instead.” she said, conspiring against her friends.

You laughed but answered, “I like it here, the boys are lovely.”

Marlene blinked at you in shock. “The boys? Lovely?” 

“They better be,” Lily chimed in, glaring at both Sirius and James.

The latter held his hands up in defense as the former confirmed “We’ve been on our best behavior.” 

All of you settled in, the girls leaving their dishes on the long table that James had somehow conjured up early this morning. You all found space on the couches or chairs or just on the carpeted floor. Conversation was lively, they all were recounting stories about their school days. 

You learned a little bit more about the boys through the eyes of the girls. Apparently Remus was known as sort of a “casanova” in their years at school, James and Sirius got detention every day for three months but were able to sweet talk their way out of it after only a week, and that they had once set a fire in their common room.

“It was small!” James defended himself and his friends. “And we put it out eventually, didn't we?”

“Yes, because I supplied the water!” Lily laughed, making the rest of the room chuckle along with her.

“What about you, Y/N? You have any harrowing tales from school?” Mary asked.

You shook your head and let your gaze fall to the floor. “I was way too shy to do anything bad or adventurous in school.” you supplied.

“You never got into trouble?” James asked. “Not even once?”

“I mean…Not for anything like setting a common room on fire.” you shot back at him, jokingly. James smiled at you, the perfect, warm smile that he often reserved only for you. The type of smile that would instantly heat your face.

You were grateful for the knock at the door, taking the attention away from you and your growing blush.

Sirius jumped up and raced to the door, opening it to reveal a boy you had yet to meet. He looked almost exactly like Sirius, the only differences were his shorter hair and his sharper features, almost cat like.

“Reggie!” Sirius exclaimed, wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug. The boy stiffened a bit but pat Sirius on the back. "You didn’t make anything?”

The boy furrowed his eyebrows. “Why would I make anything? Can’t we just-”

“Regulus! It’s been too long” Mary called out, skipping up to him and hugging him as well.

“Where are the other two?” James asked.

The boy shrugged. “Honestly I don’t know, I told them I was leaving at 5:00 and for them to be in the car. I left at 5:00.” he said plainly, making James chuckle.

“And they weren't in the car?” James asked again.

“They were not in the car.” The boy confirmed smiling slightly, just the corners of his mouth, but somehow it lit his face up entirely. He turned to you, looking you up and down. “Hello, I’m Regulus.”

“Hi, I’m Y/N.” you said, giving him a small wave. “I’m their new roommate.” you explained, nodding your head to where James stood beside you.

“Oh right, Sirius mentioned you,” he said. You couldn’t really get a read on him, didn’t know if he liked you or not, if he was friendly or not.

You were saved by Marlene inserting herself into the conversation by asking, “So Reggie, uh, do you know who else is coming?”

Regulus turned his attention to her and smirked. He raised his eyebrows and said, “Oh yeah, Pandora is coming. Can’t wait to see her.” He smiled at her like he knew something, like he was onto some game she might be playing.

“Cool, yeah! Love Pandora. I’m, uh, excited to see her too.” she said quickly, then walked away. Regulus and James laughed.

There was another knock on the door, Sirius again opened it and revealed two girls standing side by side. One with dark brown hair and the coolest clothes you had ever seen, the other with blonde hair and an eccentric aura around her. The blonde was holding a tray of baked goods and the brunette was holding some sort of bottle.

They said their hellos to everyone before the blonde stopped right in front of you. “You must be Y/N! It is so lovely to meet you. I am excited to get to know you more, I’m Pandora by the way.” she said in an airy type of voice. She seemed sweet, kind. You were excited to get to know her more too.

“Yeah, nice to meet you too.” you said.

“I made pumpkin pasties, I hope that's alright with you.” she said, motioning with the tray in her hands.

“Oh, uh, yeah that’s great, thank you so much.” you started, “I’ve never had one before so, I’m happy to try one!” you finished, trying your best to match her cheeriness.

“Never had a pumpkin pasty?” she asked, cocking her head to the side. “They are practically all I would eat when I was at-”

“I’ll take that.” Remus interjected, taking the tray gently from her hands.

“Oh Remus! How have you been? I was wondering about…” she started, getting distracted from you and following Remus into the kitchen. 

The other girl now stood in front of you. “Hey, I’m Dorcas.” she said. (you noticed Marlene blushing in the corner, eyeing her. Is this who she was hoping would show up…)

“Hi, I’m Y/N,” you repeated to her. “Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too,” she echoed the formality. “So… you’re living here now? With them?” she nodded to Remus and James in the kitchen.

“Yeah,” you said, nodding.

She handed you the bottle in her hand. “This is for you, I think it may come in handy living with that bunch.” she laughed, her voice smooth and soft. “It’s whiskey.”

You giggled and thanked her, taking the bottle. “Drinks, anyone?” you asked, raising the bottle up for all to see. There was an assortment of yes’s and agreements. You made your way to the kitchen to start handing out drinks.

Everyone was mingling and drinking, making their way to the table. You sat between Remus and Dorcas, talking to her about clothes and jewelry. She was wearing some of the coolest rings you had ever seen and you needed to know where she got them. “Oh here,” she said, handing you one you had asked about.

“W-what no. I couldn’t” you stuttered, shocked that she would be willing to give it up. Like she had known you for years, like you were sisters sharing clothes. 

“No, don't worry about it, think about it like a house warming present or something.” she explained, popping the ring  on the placemat in front of you. “Besides, I like making my own rings, I can always make another.”

You thought right then that she may be the coolest girl you had ever met.

There was yet another knock at the door. “Late as always!” Mary sang from the other side of the table, making the room laugh. Pandora was the one who jumped from her seat and made for the door. 

“Evan!” you heard her call out. She re-entered the room with two boys behind her. The first boy was tall, almost as tall as Remus, and blonde like Pandora. The other was slightly shorter and had green streaks dyed into his black hair. The second boy was holding a pie.

“I told you I was leaving at 5:00” Regulus muttered from one of the heads of the table.

“We made a pie.” the one with the green streaks said, extending out the pie he was holding.

Lily crossed her arms over her chest and raised a brow “you made a pie?” she said with an accusatory tone.

The green haired boy smiled. “We bought a pie, and the pie is here.”

You stood and walked up to the two new boys. You introduced yourself and took the pie, telling them to follow you to the kitchen so they could grab drinks as well.

“I never thought the day would come when I would be jealous of the marauders.” you heard the green haired boy, whose name you learned was Barty, mumble to the tall blonde boy, whose name was Evan, Pandora’s twin brother.

so this one was so fun to write even though nothing really happened, I just like to flesh out all their personalities kinda... idk. also there is so much magic in this one if you're looking for it. I do wanna do a pt.10 pt.2 lmao but that is so silly

taglist 💌:@too-efn-old-to-be-here @cometsghost @eeviee4 @giuli-in-earth @spicybearnaise @the-lavender-girl @adharalikethestar @champomiel @itsleroyposts @enamoredwithbella @babymash @ilovejamespottersomuch @liszblog @sammyreid @kiaslily @idkman5335 @willowlovestheweasleys @lady-balem @nislame @latenightreadingpdf @v-loves-frogs @meggishhhh @mooonyxoxo @sodavrr @notmonstersapocalipse @plk-18 @prettylittlewrites

[sunasilhouette]

「your intentions」 - s.rintarou x f!reader

✧summary:

what happens when a notorious manwhore, stoner, and player, encounters someone who doesn't seem all too interested. or: you piss suna off so much that he wants you

✧wc: 5.2k

✧au: college!au, freshman!suna, freshman!reader, miya twins side characters

✧ tags + warnings under the cut

♪♬ intentions - starfall

✧warnings: explicit smut, minors dni, bratty!reader, experienced!reader, sadist!suna, dom!suna, fuckboy!suna, stoner!suna, sexual tension, alcohol consumption, fwb, suna is an asshole with standards,

✧tags: fingering (f.), oral (m.f.), teasing, degradation, pet name (kitten/ princess), unprotected sex, rough, edging, mirror sex, dubcon, creampie, face-fucking, cum swallowing

-

frat parties themselves were frustrating—loud, crowded, sweaty. but on the bright side, they always accompanied themselves with free booze and weed. a lot of the guys here played for various sports teams on campus, most of them on the volleyball team.

one in particular, suna rintarou. the guy you so happened to sit next to in the blunt rotation and the very guy your friend warned you about yet also praised. rumour has it suna rintarou only calls up girls when he's high but he was an insane fuck. you didn't take much notice until it was your turn in the rotation. with a tap on your shoulder, you turned to the tall, foxy-featured volleyball player.

“hey. you want some or not?" rintarou suna said lazily, expression blank. his sharp, foxy features complement the entire vibe he was exuding. plus, you were surprised that you could smell a sexy, earthy cologne on him and not just the weed.

you turned around, meeting his eyes with a similar blank expression, not really vibing with his tone. you might have had a resting bitch face... but, you didn’t say anything as you took the offered blunt, taking a big puff and blowing it at his face, saying, “thanks," clipped with a fake smile and then turned back to your friend, dismissing the surprise on her face.

what you didn't notice was how suna raised an eyebrow, slightly taken aback by your boldness yet intrigued. as you blew smoke in his face, he had taken a slow, deliberate breath, his eyes never leaving yours. even when you turned away, he kept his gaze drifting lazily over your body in a way that was both assessing and appreciative.

leaning back casually against the couch, he pulled out his phone but continued to sneak glances at her from the corner of his eye. a slow, sly smile spread across his lips.

meanwhile, your friend yui was erratically sputtering about your passive-aggressive interaction with the known ‘manwhore’. honestly, you didn’t get the big deal and continued sipping at your drink and making conversation with the other sports guys, purposely ignoring suna.

sure, you'd be lying if you said you didn’t find him attractive but he was surprisingly not the kind of guy you usually go for. suna’s and your mutual friend osamu was more up your alley since you shared an elective with him and he seemed way more of a green flag than a notorious womaniser.

yui was in the middle of not-so-quietly warning you about him, no doubt painting him as some kind of villain suna thought. with that, you felt as though a certain someone was staring a hole into the back of your head causing you to shift your gaze briefly—mr hotshot himself already looking with that same lazy, blank yet sharp expression of his. he quirked the side of his lip. you rolled your eyes at him, something suna definitely wanted to see again.

you were alerted to a ringing and a name that pissed you off reading. “shit… sorry, I gotta take this call.” you told yui, putting your drink down and leaving the group, trying to find your way through the crowded living room and up the stairs into a hopefully unoccupied room.

.

.

.

you waltzed upstairs and managed to find an empty room where people weren't fucking in to take the phone call. it wasn't a very fun one.

"christ, anzai, I told you not to call me again. do I really have to block you?" the conversation was pointless and getting on your nerves. you sat down on the bed, rubbing your temples out of frustration. sighing and about to cuss out your ex-fwb over the phone, the door opened, letting a bit of light into the dark room.

suna rintarou. your eyes grew at the coincidence but you needed to end the phone call. suna was just quiet, watching you with that blank expression and stare of his.

"you're blocked. don't call me."

the invader leaned casually against the doorframe, watching you with keen interest as you hung up. you sighed as you rubbed your temples which probably struck a chord in him—you're sure he knew this feeling all too well. the room fell silent except for the muffled noise and shit music from downstairs. wordlessly, he pushed off the doorframe and moved further into the room, closing the door softly behind him. suna came to sit beside you on the bed, close but not quite touching. reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a joint and lighter.

"trouble in paradise?" he asked quietly, sparking the lighter. his tone was devoid of its usual sarcasm, surprisingly gentle. he took a long hit before offering it to you, exhaling smoke slowly through barely parted lips. his eyes, usually sharp and mocking, had softened as he regarded you in the shadows. for now, the game was on hold - it seemed he was simply offering a moment of quiet understanding.

this was the infamous manwhore on campus people were dying to get in bed with? you glanced at the joint that he offered. you didn’t take it, saying, "can't a girl get a little bit of privacy? I prefer escaping the party alone, actually."

"this is my room, actually," he replied calmly, taking another drag from the joint.

“shit- sorry.” you started, about to stand up and leave but he didn’t seem bothered or react as if he was so... you slowly sat back down.

suna exhaled slowly and shrugged. "don't worry, I'm not going to try anything. just thought you could use someone to vent to, if you want." his tone was casual, non-threatening. holding the joint out to you again, he added, "or... we could just get high and forget about our problems for a while."

his expression gave nothing away as usual, but his eyes were open and attentive, implicitly letting you know he was genuinely offering an ear. the ball was in your court now - you could take the outstretched joint as a peace offering and relax in comfortable silence, or tell him to fuck off.

“well, guess I'll take you up on that,” you said in reply, the faintest hint of a smile on your glossy lips.

a ghost of a smirk tugged at suna's lips as you accepted said peace offering, brushing against his fingers slightly (intentionally or not), clearly pleased with himself. he leaned back on one arm, mirroring you, close but not quite touching and watched the end of the joint glow orange as you took a hit.

"so, what's with the aggressive call?" he asked casually, your brief contact sent a subtle spark through him, though his expression remained as bored as ever. "ex giving you trouble?"

he took another long drag, holding the smoke for a moment before releasing it. his hooded gaze remained fixed on you, waiting patiently. there was a comfortable silence as the weed started to take effect, blurring the edges of discomfort.

during the brief silence, you took him in, only now realising how long his legs were and how huge he actually was without that oversized jacket- arms, hands, fingers; everything.

averting your eyes, you instead noticed a few things about his bedroom. one - a massive wall-to-ceiling mirror on his built-in wardrobe and a volleyball as well as some trophies on display on the shelves. some of his clothes were thrown about, as you would expect in a first-year guy's room. not to mention his impressive PC set-up.

suna had followed your gaze around the room, catching the subtle once-overs of his physique and belongings.

you finally indulged him by replying to his question, “not that big of a deal. just an asshole that begged to tap again despite being a one-minute wonder," you smirked through the confession - subtlety not being one of your strongest suits.

"really? wouldn't know what that's like." you could practically hear the smirk in his voice too, confidence oozing through.

you rolled your eyes at his comment, "though, seems like you're the same in that you don't know how to take the hint. heard all about you." you continued before you could really think over what you had just implied.

he hid a smirk by taking another drag.

"hmm, really?" he replied lazily, "and what exactly have you heard?"

of course, suna knew the rumours that circulated about him - manwhore, player, only calls girls when he's high and or drunk. but he was curious what impression you in particular had gotten. his hooded gaze watched your expression closely.

the joint was starting to take effect now, softening the edges of his usual sharp demeanour. a pleasant buzz hummed through your veins.

letting out a soft chuckle, closing your eyes and replying with shrug, "you only call girls when you're high or drunk. and… you're an 'insane fuck'. a friend's words - not mine."

as you spoke, suna reached his arm past you, leaning over your thighs to stub out his joint on an ashtray atop the bedside table. your eyes grew wide at the sudden proximity.

"hmm, your friend isn't entirely wrong," suna hummed, his breath ghosting over your ear. he took his sweet time stubbing out the joint, not missing and clearly enjoying the subtle tension of your body.

when he sat back, he turned his head to meet your eyes, mere inches away. his gaze, usually sharp and mocking, had softened into something molten under the haze.

"but, what do you think?" he asked quietly, a hint of challenge in his tone. one of his long fingers came up to brush a lock of hair from your cheek, lingering there for a moment as his eyes dropped to your lips. the game was still afoot, but the rules had changed - this was no longer just casual banter.

this was an invitation.

and, your own gaze failed you too. for a split second, your eyes flicked down to his lips and then back up to his greyish-yellow eyes. you decide not to swat his hand away.

“well, shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, and so on...” you whispered low and sultry, “as for ‘insane fuck’… let’s just say I don’t have the experience to give my own opinion.”

"wise words," his thumb tracing soft circles on her cheek. your admission both surprised and intrigued him. he liked the way you talked.

leaning in slowly, giving you ample time to pull away, he brushed his lips against the shell of your ear once more. "what do you say we change that?" he breathed, letting the question hang tantalizingly in the air.

his free hand came up to tangle gently in your hair, tilting you enough to expose the long, column of your neck. suna pressed a lingering kiss there, feeling that pulse quicken under his lips and forced a breathy sigh out of you, the pressure feeling so good.

"or d'you wanna continue our little game of cat and mouse?" he whispered, hot breath ghosting over sensitive skin. his eyes, when they meet yours again, gleam with promise and challenge.

"that depends,” you whispered out, “who’s the cat and who’s the mouse?” contrary to conflicting words, your own hands moved to slide up his shirt—to the back of his neck, fingers tangling into his brown locks. hands on his bare skin sent sparks through his veins, sharpening his focus.

"good question," suna murmured just above your lips, eyes half-lidded with intent.

in one smooth motion, he pushed you down, caging you against the plush mattress. his knee parted your thighs, making that tight mini skirt ride up just enough, pressing against your core, eliciting a gasp.

"for now, I think it's safe to say the mouse has been caught. but, I have a feeling you're more kitten than mouse," he gazed down at you with hooded eyes, taking in your flushed cheeks and sweet curves. "so you gonna let me kiss you, or...?

that shit-eating grin on his face made the idea of denying him so much more tempting. alas, suna rintarou was stupidly good with his words. but, so were you.

"I'll let you do more if you hurry up."

you could hear suna curse under his breath right before capturing your lips in a searing kiss. he rolled his hips against yours, grinding his hard length through the thin layers of fabric. a low groan rumbled in his throat at the exquisite friction.

breaking the kiss, he trailed his mouth down your jaw and neck, nipping and sucking marks into the tender skin. “so you’re the impatient type, huh?” he teased, hands making quick work of that skirt. "alright, I’ll give you what you want.”

not a second later and you’re stripped bare. he’s settled between your thighs. no more teasing—he delved right in, lapping eagerly at those dripping folds. his reputation precedes him, ministrations focused and skilled, clearly well-practised in the art of reducing his flings to a quivering mess.

you didn’t know what to expect but suna going full-throttle was definitely not on the list. either suna really was a god with his hands and tongue or the weed in your system was making you feel pleasure tenfold. you hoped it was just the latter.

you couldn’t even stop to think about trying to avoid the mounting orgasm. suna didn’t help with the way his tongue perfectly circled your clit. or how his fingers curled and prodded that sweet spot in your tight, soaking wet cunt.

it wasn’t your fault how your thighs quivered and threatened to close around him—but suna kept you spread, happily lapping up the slick and wetness from your cum.

you cursed and could feel his fucking grin, taking his time kissing and nipping down your inner thighs. only when you stilled did he crawl back up your body, grabbing at the flesh of your curves.

his lips and chin glistened with your essence, kissing you once more and letting you get a taste of yourself on his hot tongue.

suna nipped at your swollen lips, erection straining painfully against his jeans. “your turn,” he said, taking your hand and guiding it to the tent in his pants.

your brows frowned and smirked somewhat irritably. that nonchalant, confident arrogance of his really did a good job at pissing you off (and turning you on). two could play at that game.

recovered from that mind-blowing orgasm, you pushed against his chest, making him sit up and lean on one arm. “you really are full of yourself, aren’t you?”

you claimed his lips once more, undoing the belt and unzipping his pants with practised ease as he helped by kicking them off.

his grunt out of surprise was delightful to hear as you gripped him by the base, cock twitching eagerly in your grasp.

“guilty as charged,” he breathed when you parted, watching with that lazy grin and hooded eyes. “but you seem to be holding your own just fine,” he reached down to stroke your cheek. suna’s expression softening from his usual mocking edge into something almost tender. almost.

now that you were quite literally face-to-face with his cock, you couldn’t think anything else other than, ‘fuck, he’s big’. stupid volleyball players and their stupid big hands, big build and big dick apparently.

“you’re not the only one who’s been around,” you confessed, teasing the tip, flicking salty pre all around, all while looking at him doe-eyed through your lashes.

suna sucked in a sharp breath, hips twitching slightly from the teasing touches. “mm, I’m learning that,” he replied, voice roughening with barely restrained desire. what he would give to shove his cock down that diabolical mouth of yours. the mental image of your full, pouty lips stretched wide around him might have been enough to send him over the edge on its own.

his fingers tangle into your hair, not pushing but definitely encouraging, giving it a light tug. you took that as the go signal, licking up a stripe from the base of his cock. your spare hand, already coated with the juices from your cunt came up to pump once and then twice.

and, just as you finished licking up that stripe, you closed your mouth around the tip, bobbing your head and experimentally hollowing out your cheeks.

the throaty groan suna let out was more than satisfactory, head falling back as you sucked harder. “fuck, just like that…” he growled encouragingly, hips wanting to jerk up into that perfect mouth but he held back, letting you set the pace.

furrowing your brows at him, you swallowed him deeper until the tip of his cock hit the back of your throat, moaning, sending waves through his cock. he was in so deep. you could feel it twitch inside your throat and taste what was uniquely suna rintarou.

"f-fuck," he stammered, hips bucking up helplessly at the sensation of your throat fluttering around the head of his cock. oh, you were taking him so well, like you were made for swallowing his length. "so fucking good," he praised roughly, stroking your cheek. his release was coiling hot and tight already.

just before sending him over the edge, what could a little more teasing do? with a lick of your lips, you gazed up at him from below and with a smirk saying, “you holdin’ back or somethin’? I’m not a stranger to being face fucked," and licked another swipe down his cock.

suna scoffed. his eyes flashed dangerously.

in a flash he flipped you backwards, pinning your wrists above your head with one large hand. his cock jutted heavy and eager between you, glistening with his pre and your saliva.

"you asked for it, kitten," he warned, a wicked gleam in his eyes. without further preamble, he plunged back into your mouth, setting a punishing pace as he fucked that perfect throat.

suna's hips snapped forward relentlessly as he took what he wanted. one hand tangled roughly in your hair to hold you in place for his merciless punishment.

"such a naughty little slut, begging to be face fucked," he growled, feeling his release coiling tighter with each slick thrust. "swallow it all when I come, got that?"

his groans and grunts were honestly music to your ears. a few more hard thrusts and he was spilling down your throat with a guttural groan, pounding into your mouth through the entirety of his climax.

you weren't immune to having tears well up in your eyes as white hot cum spurted down your throat, closing your eyes to focus on the feeling and to not choke around him.

when suna ‘generously’ (not) pulled out of your mouth, you puffed your cheeks and swallowed hard, turning to cough. you faced suna after, licking your lips and swallowing all while looking at him dead in the eye almost defiantly, “people usually stop fucking moving when they blow,” you complained, voice slightly hoarse but that just made suna even more prideful.

he just chuckled at your complaint—that same evil laugh accompanying that shit-eating smirk. "dunno who you're tryna convince since..." he shifted, fingers tracing your hips and tapped your sopping wet cunt, wetness practically dripping down your thighs. "you're ruining my sheets."

you detested that suna rintarou face-fucking you made you wet to the point where you dripped all over his bed. it was now clear to him exactly how he should continue treating you.

rolling smoothly atop you, he caged you in with strong arms and settled between welcoming thighs. "I’ll clean that up for you," he purred, dipping his head to sample the sweet flavour lingering on his tongue.

suna let his fingers do most of the work stretching you out, making you mewl, moan, and arch your back. “s'that what you say to all the girls you fuck?”

suna chuckled darkly against her slick flesh, tongue delving deeper in response. "not always," he replied, lips and chin glistening when he pulled back to meet your eyes. two fingers scissored inside you, curling to stroke that sweet spot, while his thumb circled your aching clit in lazy eights.

"now quit your yapping and enjoy the ride." he resumed his oral devotion with renewed vigour, determined to reduce you to a quivering mess once more before claiming you fully. only when you were sobbing his name and gripping the sheets in abandon would he deem you ready for his cock.

fuck— his fingers really were magic. you were questioning why he was so adamant on stretching you out. though, after taking his cock in your mouth, you were actually wondering how it’d fucking fit inside. you were so, so close to coming for the second time that night. but, you oh-so badly wanted to cum on his cock. you’d rather die than admit it though, stubbornly biting your lip, muffling cries so as to not give him satisfaction.

suna hummed, smirking around the mouthful of flesh his lips and tongue were lavishing. he could feel your inner walls fluttering, body coiled as tight as a bowstring on the edge of release.

pulling back with an obscene pop, he withdrew his fingers to your disappointed mewl. "tsk, so impatient," he chided, nipping at your inner thighs. "don't you want the real thing?" he purred, rubbing the thick head of his cock through your slick folds in slow, teasing circles. he was fully hard again, ready to plunge deep.

"beg for it like a good girl and I'll consider it," he challenged, grey-golden eyes glittering with mischief. his thumb returned to rub tight, fast circles around your clit, keeping you right on the razor's edge.

your brows furrowed, eyes closing tight in hopes to stop yourself from coming. you swallowed hard and managed a smirk despite your hazed eyes, closing your legs around his torso, pulling him in, playfully nipping at his bottom lip. "not until you ask me for my name, asshole."

suna growled low in his throat. little minx was going to be the death of him. his cockhead nudged insistently at your entrance, aching to breach that tight heat.

his voice was low and smooth, lacking its usual teasing edge. for once, his full attention was focused solely on you, "alright then, kitten. what's your name?" you waited on his question, and then you'd give your answer, along with the fucking of a lifetime.

whispering your name into his ear, you continued, "but, you can call me your slut if you let me cum on your cock this time. and, if you’re good I might even let you have my number."

the way your voice stayed low and sultry almost lulled him into some sort of spell. it didn't help suna's patience when your legs tightened around his waist, making his cock kiss the entrance of your cunt.

suna's eyes darkened at the sinful proposition, cock twitching eagerly. oh, he was going to make you beg for release before the night was through.

he purred your name, tasting it on his tongue as he rolled his hips, "such a pretty name for a dirty slut." he chuckled, nipping your lobe.

in one swift thrust, he finally sank home, burying to the hilt in one smooth stroke. your velvety heat clenched so tight around him. it was exquisite torture. the moan you both shared together was downright diabolical and the proceeding muffled cries that you let out in your mess of a kiss felt delicious on suna’s tongue.

bracing himself on muscular arms, he set a punishing pace, hips snapping forward to grind against your clit on every pass. "you'll probably be begging for mine once I'm done," he mumbled against your lips, grey eyes alight with primal hunger.

with the way your pussy clenched down on him, the way your nails dug into his shoulders and the way you moaned his name: how could he not feel like he was running on pure ecstasy.

suna gripped your hips and flipped you over, leaning over your arched body. he nipped the shell of your ear with a smirk. his free hand gripped your chin, pulling your head up, making you look up at that full-length mirror on his wardrobe, "remind me how you want it, again?"

you wanted to curse him out so bad with how badly your walls fluttered achingly around nothing. biting your lips, you let out a shaky sigh as your cheeks flushed an even deeper red. finding the strength to lift a hand to turn his head and whisper devilishly into his ear, "rough."

with a breathy chuckle, he replied, "sure thing, princess." without further warning, he gripped your hips once more and slammed back in. you cried out, whether in pain or pleasure or a sick mixture of both, you neither knew nor cared. all that mattered was the feeling of suna wrecking your insides.

suna's hand tangled in your hair, yanking your head back, forcing you to look at the debaucherous reflection in the mirror. the muted sounds of the frat party downstairs faded, replaced with the noises of sex and slapping skin.

your skin flushed pink and red from the marks he left on your body. looking up for a brief second, you met his blown-out pupils in the mirror, managing to get out, "a little fucked in the head, aren’t you-"

suna's lips curled into a feral smirk at your words, meeting your gaze unflinchingly in the mirror. "takes one to know one, princess," he growled, angling his hips to drive even deeper. his thrusts were relentless, pounding into you so hard the force shifted you forward.

leaning over you and reaching around, he splayed his large hand over your lower belly, feeling the bulge of his cock. "feel that?"

of course you fucking felt it—he was practically splitting you open. and you'd hate to admit it but you felt high and it was definitely not the weed.

he caught your mouth in a bruising kiss, all teeth and tongue. his eyes bored into yours in the mirror, a feral challenge gleaming in their depths.

you couldn’t stay up. you lowered your head, body high on firey pleasure as suna pounded a second orgasm into you. you cursed and sputtered out, "f-fuck...! I'm gonna..."

his own face twisted in ecstasy. fuck, he needed to fill you up. your cries raised an octave and walls began to spasm around him, making him groan deeply into the crook of your neck. as much of an asshole he was, he found a slither of control inside him to care enough to ask.

he cursed, his control hanging by a thread, "you on anything?"

his cock pistoned in and out of your walls, hitting that spongy sweet spot every single time. the slap of skin filled the room along with your mingled moans. suna's orgasm was coiling tight, ready to explode.

somehow summoning the last shreds of willpower, he panted against your skin, "hurry, tell me before I lose it…" the decision was yours, but he wasn't sure he could stop even if you said to. not when you felt this fucking good.

part of him wanted nothing more than to spill deep inside, and claim you as only his. a few more erratic thrusts were all he could manage, hanging on the razor's edge for your reply before the dam broke.

“f-fuck... just— fill me up…!” you couldn’t even think straight as you peaked. your back arched like a pretty moon with a death grip on the sheets, trying to at least hold on to a bit of your sanity.

a guttural groan tore from suna's throat at your permission, the last of his restraint shattering. he slammed home one final time, spilling hot white cum deep inside your clenching walls with a full-body shudder.

wave after wave of pleasure crashed over him as he pulsed into you, your climax dragging his out for an agonizing eternity. your velvety heat milked him for all he was worth, and he swore he saw stars behind his lids.

coming back to himself, he collapsed heavily over you, panting for breath. suna buried his face in the crook of your neck, inhaling your intoxicating scent as you both floated down together.

"fuck…" was all he could manage in a gravelly rasp, still nestled inside.

the previously faded noise of the party had now become slightly audible and matched with the beating of your heartbeats and panting breaths. holy fuck. suna rintarou really was an insane fuck.

pulling out slowly, he watched his seed leak from your abused cunt with a satisfied smirk. rollling onto his side, he tugged your limp, well-fucked body towards him, tucking you under his arm.

was he still high? cus the way he was looking at you was kinda dangerous… you didn’t say anything else and pressed your lips against his again, wanting to forget about everything else and enjoy the ‘insane fuck’ that was suna rintarou.

suna readily returned your kiss, losing himself in the feel of your pretty soft lips. for once, his mind had gone blissfully blank - all he knew was the girl in his arms and the taste of you on his tongue.

reluctantly breaking the kiss, he pressed his forehead to yours, noses brushing almost intimately as you both caught your breaths. his fingers traced idle patterns along your flushed skin, committing every curve and plane to memory.

his eyes cracked open to meet your gaze, and for a heartbeat, something almost tender flickered in his usual sardonic depths. "stay the night?" he murmured, voice uncharacteristically soft. fingers tracing the bow of your lips, he awaited your answer.

“what, can’t get enough of the girl that accidentally walked into your room?” you teased, biting the finger that traced your lips.

suna huffed out a soft laugh at your retort. he replied, "can you blame me? think I hit the jackpot with you." his fingers combed idly through your tousled locks, gaze roaming your well-fucked form with unabashed hunger and appreciation.

"besides," he purred, nosing along your jawline to nip at the spot below your ear that made her gasp, "you still need to answer my question."

his voice had dropped to a low, gravelly rasp that went straight to your core. he smirked against your flushed skin. "do I live up to my reputation as an 'insane fuck'?"

yes, you answered mentally—but you weren't about to feed his ego even more.

trailing his fingers down your spine, he purred, "and I believe someone promised me her number? for being 'good' and filling her up.”

despite the way you shivered at his touch once more, you huffed and pushed against his chest. “your volleyball friends not gonna miss you?” you said sarcastically, rolling your eyes at him.

"probably too busy getting shitfaced to notice I'm gone," he replied with a lazy shrug. "I'd much rather stay right here and wreck you a few more times before calling it a night." his hand slid down your stomach to tease that oversensitive clit, smirking at your involuntary gasp.

“you’re impossible.”

.

.

.

unfortunately for you, you did surrender your number to suna in the end. and, you even stayed the night, surprising a few of suna’s house mates from the sight of the smoking hot girl he managed to somehow get into his bed. you paid them no mind as you left his place. well- apart from giving your classmate, osamu miya, an awkward greeting before leaving.

it wasn’t long before you and suna would meet again, and again, and again…

[koyagifs]

𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓺𝓾𝓪𝓻𝓻𝔂 - 𝓹𝓻𝓸𝓵𝓸𝓰𝓾𝓮

pairing: poly!ateez x reader au: werewolf | camp counselors | the quarry genre: angst | horror | fluff (?) word count: 2.361 words summary: Welcome to Hackett Quarry camp counselors! We know the events that have unfolded back in 2021 was devastating but we’re happy to announce we’ll be opening for the summer of 2025! With new management and now even more tighter security, we can guarantee your children are safe. We'll love to introduce our new counselors this year! warning(s): Minors do not interact! All characters will be aged up! The boys are in a relationship with the reader but not with each other! They will all be in their early 20's, including the hyung line. This is a horror fic! There will be mention of blood and guns. Characters will curse frequently, make many lewd sexual remarks toward one another, and reference drugs and alcohol, even going as far as having a few drinks around a campfire. Minors do not interact! not edited.

23:50 | June 24th hongjoong & mingi

જ⁀➴ Hongjoong glanced over at Mingi, whose fingers tapped lightly on the steering wheel in rhythm with the music. Mingi's hum was soft, almost like he was trying not to disrupt the quiet atmosphere in the car, and Hongjoong couldn't help but feel a little more at ease because of it. He shifted his gaze out the window, watching as the trees blur. Hongjoong looked down to his phone, the no signal bar causing him to groan in annoyance. Mingi took a glance before he let out a chuckle.

" what's wrong hyung?"

" no signal, and we look lost Mingi. Are you sure we're going the right way?" Hongjoong asked, looking at the blank GPS screen.

" well.. we kinda lost signal a couple of miles back but -"

" so we're lost," Hongjoong huffed.

Mingi laughed, a little too casually, keeping his eyes on the winding road. "Not lost, exactly. Just... taking the scenic route."

Hongjoong gave him a skeptical look, crossing his arms. "The scenic route? Mingi, we’re in the middle of nowhere, and the GPS has no signal."

Mingi scratched the back of his head, grinning sheepishly. "Look, I may have missed a turn. But it’s all part of the adventure, right? No maps, no plans… just us and the open road."

Hongjoong let out a sigh, unable to hold back a small smile. "Only you would call being lost an adventure."

“Come on, hyung, where’s your sense of spontaneity?” Mingi teased, shooting him a playful look.

" yn and everyone else are going to be worried. We promise to keep them updated." Hongjoong grumbled, his eyes going back to the road.

Mingi sighed, " i know, especially since the place is going to be opening for the first time since -"

" since those murders in 2021, yeah i know. Speaking of, why did we agree to do this stupid summer camp?"

Mingi’s playful grin faded as he remembered. "Yeah… guess we didn’t think that part through, huh?"

Hongjoong nodded, his fingers drumming against his knee. "I still don’t know why we agreed. A summer camp at a place with a history like that? They probably think we're crazy."

"Maybe we are," Mingi joked, though there was a flicker of nervousness in his eyes. "But, hey, someone’s gotta do it, right? Plus, it’s supposed to be a fresh start for the place, a chance to move on."

Hongjoong sighed, still uneasy but trying to believe that maybe, just maybe, they were there to bring something positive. "Let’s just hope we aren’t the ones who need rescuing by the end of this.”

Mingi let out a soft hum, Hongjoong tapping his fingers to the music before something caught his eyes.

A flicker of movement just beyond the trees drew Hongjoong’s attention. He leaned forward, squinting as he tried to make out what he saw—a figure? Something that seemed out of place against the dense green backdrop.

“Mingi,” Hongjoong said, his voice low, his fingers pausing mid-tap. “Did you see that?”

Mingi glanced over, following Hongjoong’s gaze toward the trees. “See what?”

Hongjoong shook his head, still staring as the figure seemed to vanish into the shadows. “I don’t know… I thought I saw someone, just standing there. Watching us.”

Mingi chuckled nervously, trying to brush off the chill that crept into the car. “Probably just some animal, hyung. Or your imagination. It’s the middle of nowhere, remember?”

“Maybe,” Hongjoong muttered, though he couldn’t shake the image from his mind. He forced himself to look away, but the uneasy feeling lingered as they drove deeper into the forest.

Just as Hongjoong looked away, the two males let out a gasp as Mingi tried to swerve away from something that was hunched over on the road. Hongjoong

Hongjoong’s heart raced as he gripped the seat, eyes wide as Mingi jerked the wheel. The car swerved sharply, tires screeching as Mingi struggled to regain control. They both caught a glimpse of a hunched figure, shrouded in shadow, barely illuminated by the headlights before it disappeared from sight.

"Mingi, what was that?" Hongjoong’s voice trembled, his gaze fixed on the dark road ahead.

"I don’t know!" Mingi's knuckles were white against the wheel, his breathing uneven. "It looked… human, but it was— I couldn’t see its face. It just… appeared."

They sat in silence, hearts pounding, as the car rolled to a stop on the side of the road. Both of them were afraid to look back, the air thick with dread.

Hongjoong swallowed, trying to steady his voice. "Should we… check it out? Make sure we didn’t hit it?"

Mingi shook his head quickly, his voice barely a whisper. "Hyung… maybe we just keep going."

" what if it was a person? " Hongjoong asked, already taking his seatbelt off.

Mingi shook his head, " it looked like an animal. Come on, we're nearly there to the camp."

Hongjoong hesitated, his hand frozen on the seatbelt buckle as he looked out into the darkness. "I don’t know, Mingi… if it was a person, we can’t just leave them here."

Mingi swallowed, glancing back at the road nervously. "Hyung, I know how it looked, but… there’s no way that was human. The way it moved, hunched over like that—it wasn’t normal."

Hongjoong’s gaze shifted between Mingi and the empty road, uncertainty flickering in his eyes. But something deep down told him that stopping wasn’t a good idea. They were close to the camp, and the thought of being stranded out here with something lurking unsettled him more than he wanted to admit.

“Alright,” he finally conceded, slowly putting his seatbelt back on. “But if we hear anything or see it again, we’re checking.”

“Deal,” Mingi agreed, relief washing over him as he started the car. They drove forward, the unsettling encounter leaving a lingering tension in the air as the camp finally came into view through the trees.

00:26 June 25th Hongjoong & Mingi

જ⁀➴ Mingi and Hongjoong were banging on the door, goosebumps covering their body as they sighed in defeat. Mingi crossed his arms, annoyance plater on his face as he turned to Hongjoong.

" did you even talk to the new owner?" Mingi whined, nearly stomping his feet but stopped himself when Hongjoong glared at him.

" the owner didn't pick up, i left him a voicemail.." Hongjoong mumbled, looking away from his young lover.

“A voicemail?” Mingi repeated, exasperated. “You mean to tell me we drove all this way, past… whatever that thing was on the road… for a voicemail?”

“Yeah, because that was such a good call.” Mingi gestured toward the locked door. “Now we’re locked out here, freezing our butts off."

Hongjoong huffed, crossing his arms as he looked up at the old, dark building in front of them. The camp looked even more eerie than he’d expected—weathered wood, windows dark and lifeless, as though it hadn’t been touched in years.

“ you would think with new management they’ll keep the building tidy,” Mingi mumbled.

“ look, why don’t you go and wait in the car for me hm? i’ll take a look around before we look for a hotel nearby,” Hongjoong said, not looking at him.

Mingi nodded. “Alright, but don’t take too long. This place is giving me the creeps,” he muttered, casting a wary glance around.

“I won’t be long, I promise.”

He watched as Mingi shuffled back to the car before he turned to face the old building again, squaring his shoulders and approaching the front door. He knocked once more, the echo fading into the emptiness around him.

After a few moments of silence, Hongjoong sighed, muttering under his breath. “I swear, Yn, you’re in so much trouble when I see you tomorrow.”

He took a few cautious steps around the side of the building, his eyes scanning the windows and doors for any sign of life. The wind picked up, sending a shiver down his spine as he heard leaves rustling nearby. It was quiet, but every now and then, he felt a pair of unseen eyes on him, making his skin crawl.

Back at the car, Mingi waited, glancing at his phone, though it still showed no signal. He looked up as Hongjoong returned to his side, an uneasy expression on his face.

“Any luck?” Mingi asked, a hint of hope in his voice.

Hongjoong shook his head. “No sign of anyone. And still no signal?”

Mingi shook his head, disappointed. “Nothing. You think we’ll have to find a hotel?”

Hongjoong nodded, but just as he was about to speak, a faint, eerie crunch echoed from the nearby trees, causing both of them to freeze. Hongjoong’s hand instinctively moved to Mingi’s shoulder.

“Stay close,” he whispered, his own voice barely steady. Whatever was out there, they both knew it was no simple animal.

Hongjoong’s eyes darted to the source of the sound, heart pounding as he scanned the dark treeline. The crunching grew louder, deliberate, like someone—or something—was circling them.

Mingi looked at Hongjoong in fear, "hyung… maybe it’s just an animal,” he whispered, though his voice betrayed his unease.

But Hongjoong shook his head, eyes narrowing as he listened. "That’s not just an animal, Mingi. It sounds… heavier.”

They stood side by side, barely daring to breathe as the footsteps grew closer, each crunch of leaves sending a wave of dread through them. The sound was heavy, calculated, like something stalking its prey.

Hongjoong clenched his jaw, holding Mingi a little closer. “Stay behind me,” he murmured, his gaze never leaving the shadowed trees. He could feel Mingi’s hand trembling on his arm, but he kept his own grip steady, bracing himself for whatever might emerge.

“Hyung…” Mingi’s voice was a shaky whisper, his wide eyes darting around, searching for a way out.

With the wind howling, the leaves shuffling and the full moon shining brightly down below them seemed such a scene out of a horror movie. The taller male clinging onto the shorter male as he held his phone, the light shinning as much as it could.

“ hyung, let’s just go back into the car and -“

The sudden animalistic growl cut Mingi off, Hongjoong shifting his light towards the sound. Mingi’s grip tightened on Hongjoong, making him hiss out in pain.

Hongjoong winced, trying to shake off the discomfort as he adjusted the light, its narrow beam barely cutting through the darkness around them. Mingi reluctantly loosened his grip but stayed close, his wide eyes fixed on the shadowed trees as another low growl echoed from deeper within the forest.

“Let’s… let’s just go back,” Mingi pleaded, his voice trembling. “We don’t need to know what that is, hyung. We really don’t.”

Hongjoong hesitated, glancing between the safety of the car and the darkened path in front of them. The logical part of him agreed with Mingi—every instinct screamed at him to turn back and drive far away. But another part of him felt rooted, as if something in the shadows was pulling him closer, demanding his attention.

Just as he was about to speak, the growl grew louder, more ferocious, reverberating through the trees. This time, it was accompanied by the sound of branches snapping and leaves crunching, as if something large and powerful was moving toward them.

Hongjoong’s heart raced, and he gave Mingi a firm push toward the car. “Get in and lock the doors.”

“Hyung, I’m not leaving you here alone!” Mingi protested, panic flaring in his eyes.

Hongjoong shrugged the younger male off as he turned to him. A look so serious, Mingi knew that he is to take everything he says serious.

“ run to the car and don’t turn back. Go!” Hongjoong yelled, shoving Mingi away just as something tackled Hongjoong to the ground.

Mingi stumbled backward, his eyes wide with fear and hesitation as he watched Hongjoong struggle beneath the weight of the creature. It had lunged from the shadows so fast, like a blur of dark, twisted limbs, pinning Hongjoong to the ground before he could even react.

“Go!” Hongjoong shouted again, his voice strained as he fought to push the creature back.

But Mingi couldn’t move, rooted to the spot in terror. Every part of him wanted to run, to obey, but seeing Hongjoong on the ground, fighting for his life, kept him frozen.

“Damn it, Mingi, run!” Hongjoong’s voice cut through the haze, snapping him back to reality.

With a strangled gasp, Mingi finally turned, sprinting toward the car with his heart pounding wildly in his chest. His footsteps were loud against the ground, but the only thing he could hear was the sound of Hongjoong’s struggling breaths and the creature’s low, guttural growls. Tears pricked at Mingi’s eyes, guilt and fear clawing at him as he fumbled with the car door, throwing himself into the driver’s seat.

He glanced back, just in time to see Hongjoong shove the creature off, his face twisted in pain but his determination unwavering. But before Mingi could even think of helping, the creature lunged again, claws flashing in the dim light.

Desperation took over as Mingi turned the key in the ignition, praying the car would start. The engine sputtered, and he cursed, trying again. “Come on, come on…”

Mingi’s hands shook violently as he jammed the key into the ignition again, his heart racing faster with each failed attempt. Hongjoong’s cries echoed in his mind, fueling his desperation, and he felt the weight of panic press down on him like never before.

“Please, please, just start!” he muttered, voice thick with fear, gripping the wheel as if sheer force would make the engine turn over.

The engine gave one last sputter before roaring to life, the sudden sound almost a relief too great to bear. As Mingi’s hands gripped the steering wheel, a cold, vice-like grip suddenly yanked him from his seat, tearing him out of the car with terrifying strength. He barely had time to scream as he was dragged backward, his nails scratching against the ground in desperation. His terrified cries pierced the night, echoing through the dense forest, scattering the last few birds that had been resting in the trees.

“H-Hongjoong!”

[familiarscars]

Lost In Control | Bad Omens | CHAPTER 09

adult content | minors do NOT interact.

⋆ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. Bad Omens X ex-girlfriend and singer!Reader.

⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. You and Noah had a difficult ending, but you still need to support each other for the band.

⋆ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆(𝐒). melancholy, ex-boyfriends, difficult relationships, alcohol abuse, swearing, drug addiction, violence.

It's okay to not agree with the characters' attitudes during the fic. It's good to remember that the story is fiction from the author's sick mind, and of course they will make dubious decisions according to my fantasies. Nothing is done to be compared to reality.

NOAH

If that punching bag could speak, it would beg for mercy. Sweat heated my skin, and with every punch against the rubbery surface, an overstrained grunt sliced through the air.

"I think that's enough for today, Noah," someone said from a distance, but my focus was locked on the back-and-forth motion of my clenched fists, ignoring how they throbbed painfully with each strike.

This was the only way to unload everything consuming me without smashing my head into some random passerby while walking down the street.

The past few days couldn’t have been more hellish. I couldn’t write, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, and all I was left with was being forced to see that woman at every rehearsal and act like she didn’t exist.

Impossible when she was everywhere.

"I just said it seems like enough for today, Noah!" The same voice broke the short space between me and the punching bag as it pulled me away from it. "What the hell is wrong with you today? You seem like you're on another planet!"

The trainer stood in front of me, arms crossed, while I slid down the wall until I sat on the floor. My chest heaved uncontrollably as I stared at his calves through the strands of sweat-soaked hair hanging over my face.

Training at night was good; I liked the empty gym, especially when I used it as an escape.

"My head's full of crap, that's all," I spat, removing the wraps around my fists.

"Anything I can help with?"

"Only if you can hit me hard enough to induce permanent amnesia," I tried to joke, but my voice came out more morbid than anything else.

"Actually... I might be able to do that!" The tall, bald man with bulging veins on his temples shrugged. "But forgetting, even temporarily, won't make your crap disappear."

"And who said I want anything resolved? The sooner everything goes to hell, the better."

I definitely didn’t mean to be so harsh, but it came out automatically, and he should ignore it. My good moods were so rare that, to him, this probably felt like just another normal day.

"It might be a relief for a while, but the body reacts differently than your mind. Even if your mind didn’t remember anything, you'd live with the feeling that something’s missing every time it relives memories, habits, interests, and tastes," he added. "Like when you touch an object and your body reacts instantly, or when you visit a place and your insides speak for themselves."

What utter nonsense, for God’s sake.

"Got it," I said, giving him a thumbs-up with a straight smile, as if that load of crap actually made sense.

"Fine, fine, call me crazy, Mr. Know-It-All!" He rolled his eyes, turning his back. My gaze swept the room, watching as he picked up gloves and bags scattered on the floor, placing them on the shelves.

Leaving the gym, I regretted not grabbing a jacket earlier as the wind hit me on the street. Walking to the parking lot, I unlocked the car with a click, and before getting in, I heard a brief cluster of voices in the distance. Turning around, I saw a group of four girls bundled up in band hoodies, phones in hand.

I couldn’t explain why, but a discomfort seemed to envelop me as they approached, realizing I wasn’t about to flee.

“Noah, would you mind taking a picture with us?” asked the tallest girl, her short hair tucked behind her ears.

Well, maybe there was no harm in that.

“Of course! Let’s do it!” I forced a brief smile as they gathered around me.

A guy passing through the parking lot helped take the photo, and I held the smile until he finished.

“Thank you so much, Noah. I hope you’re doing okay!” said another girl with colorful streaks in her hair, stepping aside.

“I am, thanks for asking.”

I just wanted to leave as quickly as possible.

It wasn’t that I hated my fans or anything. In fact, I’d always been able to separate those who genuinely appreciated the band’s work respectfully from those who felt entitled to my personal life, as if it didn’t belong to me or as if I wasn’t an adult capable of handling my own decisions.

But I couldn’t deny that most of the time, I wished to be a voice without a face. I loved writing music, I loved singing, and I never doubted it was for me since the first time I did it. I just wasn’t so sure that back then, I’d also wanted everything that came with it.

The way I felt uneasy in most recent social interactions made it clear how I felt.

“We just wanted to let you know that no matter what happened, we’re on your side. Always!” she emphasized, and my brows furrowed as my expression darkened.

“What are you talking about?”

“It was on a news channel—speculations that the Bad Omens vocalist’s overdose was her ex-boyfriend’s fault.” The information came with a phone placed in my hand. “They dug up videos of you two arguing at the festival, and now they’re blaming you.”

“They’re piecing together moments from shows where things seemed tense and comparing how she’s been since your breakup,” added a redheaded girl, taking the phone from my hand. “But we’re rallying in your defense. We know she was always the problem, and we won’t let her fans drag your name like that.”

Every misfortune seemed to fall short of what I deserved.

“Look, I’m sure you all have better things to do than worry about this,” I assured them, stepping back closer to the car. “I don’t need lawyers for the internet court. Take care.”

With a final fake smile, my eyes narrowed as I turned my back on them and got in the car. Before starting the engine, I still caught one last complaint.

“It’s incredible how he defends that girl even in the middle of this circus. I don’t understand what the hell she has!” she fumed, stomping her feet and crossing her arms.

That was an excellent question.

I was far too focused on the traffic, humming Sicko Mode by Travis Scott, tapping my fingers to the beat on the steering wheel. I couldn’t help swaying in a little dance as if nothing was wrong. The sunlight was strong, so I pulled my sunglasses from my hair to better see the road.

For a fleeting moment of distraction, I glanced in the rearview mirror, and a chilling sensation washed over me for no reason. Behind my car, a dark-windowed SUV waited at the same red light. There was no reason for concern—I knew cars like that were common around here.

But the unease grew, gnawing at me, as I decided to test my suspicion when the light turned green. Casually, I turned the first corner to shake it off, but it didn’t take long for the driver of the SUV to appear on the narrow street, blatantly trailing me.

I pressed the gas pedal moderately, and the bastard matched my pace. He didn’t seem intent on cutting me off, maintaining a safe distance—just enough to let me know he was there, aiming to unsettle me.

I tried to keep control, ignoring my sweaty hands gripping the steering wheel, my gaze fixed on the mirror. Accelerating down the second avenue, I ran a red light, weaving through the crossing traffic to shake the pursuer, my pulse racing in rhythm with the car’s speed.

No time to think. I veered sharply into the opposite lane, narrowly avoiding a collision with another vehicle that slammed on its brakes. The blaring horn couldn’t even dampen the sinister adrenaline coursing through my veins, heating my blood alongside my labored breathing.

I yanked the wheel, swerving into the first open alley I spotted, slowing just enough to notice the SUV caught in the chaos I’d caused at the intersection, freezing the traffic behind it.

But what the hell was that?

After another meeting in the office, everyone was ready to leave. I was really determined to keep my promise when I said she had died to me yesterday.

Today, I only thought about her three thousand times.

When I passed through the door, I saw that she was right behind me, and it was incredible how every time things were tense between us, she somehow managed to look six times more stunning, as if just to provoke me.

The funniest part was that she didn’t have to try very hard to do it.

“Are you okay?” My steps instinctively halted when I heard her voice. “You seemed agitated when you got to the meeting, and…”

If I were speaking to her, I would’ve surely said that a big part of my irritation came from people spreading lies about us online again and some lunatic racing me on the road just a few minutes earlier.

“I really wanted to talk to you about something,” she insisted, gently touching my back, which I quickly pulled away from. Her fingers carried electricity, and just the slightest contact with my skin was enough to turn my brain into useless mush.

But I wasn’t about to break the silence game.

“Noah?” Gerard poked his head out of the room, interrupting the moment. “Can I talk to you?”

“Sure.”

Relieved, I exhaled deeply, keeping my back turned to her as I walked into the room. I hated the smell of cigars and strong alcohol that filled the place, and I couldn’t stop glaring disgustedly at the leather furniture, worried the scent would stick to me.

“Just seeing the number of attendees in today’s meeting told me your conversation didn’t go well, did it?”

“Did you call me here to talk about work, or are you looking to catch up on gossip? I’m sure any website could keep you more updated than I could,” I retorted as I slouched in the chair, legs spread, letting my head fall to the side.

Fortunately, I wasn’t very expressive.

“I called you because I care about you two, and of course, this news shook me—not just because it’s a sad decision coming from someone young like her…” Gerard paused dramatically, and I raised a single eyebrow. “But because I’m worried about you in all of this.”

Fascinating.

“It happened exactly as I imagined. There’s no way she could’ve handled another wave of hate after all these months being labeled as problematic. Noah, I knew she’d eventually find a way to drag you into it, to share the blame!”

“I don’t follow the news, so I’m out of the loop,” I lied shamelessly.

“So you haven’t noticed she hasn’t defended you or denied anything being said about you? Noah…” He took a deep breath, clasping his hands with a thick gold ring on his ring finger over the messy desk. “I’ve been your age, and I know what love does to people, especially when it’s one-sided.”

Nothing annoyed me more than people circling endlessly around a topic instead of just saying it outright. We weren’t at a lecture or a sermon, and outside this place, dragging things out made no sense.

It was impossible not to stare at him with more disinterest as I rested my hand on my chin.

“I know you probably think this is all nonsense, but I can’t let you forget what happened the last time an issue between you two crossed personal boundaries and hurt the band,” he stressed, drawing a line on the desk. “I took the hit, and you… well, no need to comment—just search your name online.”

“Every day revisiting the same topic. Don’t you have a new, important agenda to make my visit worthwhile?”

“This will remain the topic until you stop behaving like you’re ready to throw it all away for that disturbed girl again!” He finally bared his claws. “Are you going to tell me you didn’t, even for a second, think it was betrayal for her to throw you to the wolves and save her own skin?”

I’d reached my limit for the day, clearing my throat into my fist before standing and stretching my back. Slowly, I leaned over the desk, bringing my face close to his while locking eyes and moistening my lips with my tongue.

“Gerard, dear…” I whispered so softly it almost sounded like a song. “You can take my band, my money, my rights, my songs, even the damn socks I sell. But my personal life? That’s still none of your damn business!”

“It becomes my business when she manipulates every thought in your head and keeps you from doing your job!”

“As you’ve noticed, we’re no longer together. She made her choice yesterday, and now our relationship is purely professional. I couldn’t care less about what she does from now on, as long as it means she sings properly and does her job!” I declared. “Now, please stop bothering me with things that aren’t my responsibility or interest. I’ll keep ensuring my part is done.”

A strangely triumphant smile formed on his lips, and I watched as Gerard nodded slowly.

“Perfect!” he exclaimed, giving two light pats to my cheek. “I knew I could count on you!”

Breathing outside that room again felt like being reborn, if such a thing was possible. The entire way out of the office, I tried to push his words out of my head, though they carried a shred of truth.

I couldn’t forget that when everything fell on her shoulders, I had the same reaction, if not worse, staying silent, waiting for the chaos to subside. But it never did, and now it made sense for her to use a winning hand against me.

She knew I couldn’t do anything on my own, and that gave her free rein to do whatever she wanted. But it was undeniable how bitter it tasted to feel like a stepping stone for her unstable ego.

Outside, I paused at the entrance as rain washed over the dry, empty streets of the city. It wasn’t heavy, but the few drops that hit my face were cold and powerful enough to conjure a mirage before my eyes.

Ahead on the road, there was nothing but trees past the shoulder. In the middle of the asphalt, two people—a couple—smiled as they ran, chasing each other like there was no fear of tomorrow. They danced even without music, and it seemed like the first time the boy had ever felt truly happy about something. He looked free.

Shaking my head to push away the revisited memory, I headed toward the studio, which wasn’t far. Outside, amid the laughter and the sound of guitar riffs, there she was, her voice like a spell capable of putting me in an automatic trance every time I heard it.

Passing through the gate slowly, I walked toward the back of the vast yard. She and my friends were gathered, Jolly and she doing a duet—more precisely, a cover of Decode. Even as they seemed to be having fun, she didn’t go off-key once.

The raspiness of her voice, the beginnings of delirium watching her sit there smiling between verses on a bench with the microphone in hand—it took me back to the bar’s back room, watching her sing in absolute silence. There was no technique, no production, no effect—nothing could compete with the absurd talent I desperately wished the world would know.

The same place where I first saw her and swore I’d never seen anything like it, the same place where I fell hopelessly in love with the insane woman who had a desperation for life, for proving how free she was, enough to infect me with the same poison.

I hated her.

I hated her so much.

⭑ @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard ; @iluvmewwwww75 ; @anarchydomainglory ; @foliosgirl ; @lma1986 ; @chey-h ;

[rodanseys]

ok i finished my yearly reread of trc and i must say something!!! it is likely someone already said on the internet far before me, but i must say it!!!!

and that thing is how trb and trk mirror one another because of the inversion of adam and gansey's function within the narrative.

obviously, in trb, we see adam sacrifice himself to cabeswater. it is a huge risk, yes, but it's true to adam's character because he's willing to do what gansey isn't because he thinks choosing anything other than listening to gansey is freedom. as a result, he's the leader of the group for most of the series. the first thing gansey does when interacting with adam is ask adam a qeustion. adam is consantly called on over the course of the series to find an alternative solution when gansey can't- he even mentions that in his own monologing (i think in bllb). the gray man refers to the gangsey, as we all know, as "adam parrish and his band of merry men." in other words, he is the king, driven by duty, both that he cannot choose bc of his upbringing and that he chooses bc he can't understand what true freedom yet.

meanwhile, we see development of gansey as the poet. he's the heart of the quest, the person who believes in it to make others believe. this is especially true in trk, where its repeatedly pointed out that gansey can say things in his Gansey voice and making them true. this not only reinforces his place as the poet, but his own (and other characters') awareness of it.

so there's been established and really, really hammered-over delegation of adam as the king and gansey as the poet. then, in trk, we have the scene where adam is being taken over by the demon that's also taking over cabeswater. at the end of that chapter, he is able to regain control over the demon and separate it from cabeswater simply by saying his eyes and hands belong to him again- like gansey would. liek a poet would! his necesity to do this within the plot, the obviousness of him doing this as a chracter (he never wanted to be controlled, just gansey's equal, but he couldn't realize the difference yet) also means that he has moved into the role of the poet (and what could be more of gansey's equal than him becoming who gansey was within the plot?). this leaves the king role, as a narrative function, finally open for gansey to fill.

and it works because we've already seen gansey becoming increasingly anxious throughout trk. he's feeling this sense of power start to shatter, the fear of a life after glendower. but he knows he must finish what he started. how is this shown in the text? when he leaves in the middle of the night to find glendower- a literal repetition of adam leaving alone to sacrifice himself on the line. but, this time, gansey is the one to initiate. he's finally on his way to becoming a king, figuratively and literally. but then, we realize geldower is dead. and this is where this mirroring becomes so rich and fascinating to me.

but why? because gansey, after discovering glendower is dead, also discovers something contradictory to the way this story must go: "glendower was dead. gansey kind of wanted to live." the moment after he realizes it, he becomes so afraid of receiving pity because of his selfishness to live outside the bounds of responsibility thrust upon him. he never had that before. no one stopped him from searching for glendower, from being obsessed. he had the time, money, resources, and charm (unlike adam) to pull off this really kind of ridiculous activity. but, now, he finally uderstands what it meant to sacrifice and it brings up a vulnerability he doesn't know what to do with.

and guess who else dealt with reponsibilites thrust upon them that they didn't know what to do with? who was afraid of being pitied instead of respected as a response? adam! gansey's becoming more like adam. like the king! and the narrative literally acknowledges this: "for the first time, gansey understood adam parrish perfectly."

so, of course, like adam, he must sacrifice something to achieve the actual power of the king in the narrative. so he does. he kisses blue and sacrifices his life. and how is it written? "he fell from her arms. he was a king." he was a king!!!! he was actually a king!!! because, like glendower, he was dead. he couldn't be glendower (which is all he wanted to be- brave, respected, loved, remembered) without dying. because glendower died! and gansey wanted to live! but he couldn't. because he couldn't be who he wanted to be without also taking on the responsibility of what it meant to be that person. he never reallt understood this; adam always did.

i really appreciate this inversion because it gives precedence to their friendship on the plot level: both of them had to meet, to get to know each other, to fight for the plot to start. but then, they had to understand each other, to work hard to love each other, and actually end up on the inverted of the narrative in order to become who they needed to be for the plot to conclude. and it also reinforces another large theme of the series: time as something cyclical. gansey living adam's younger years while adam lives gansey's. that this was required for them to know and love each other fully and for gansey to come back to life and not "throw it away."

[kittymizuki]

thinking about the kamikou festival event again and how it conveys the tone and atmosphere of the school while showing the constant transmisogyny microaggressions mizuki lives with every day so well, and this phone call with an drives me insane bc even though an is genuinely well-meaning and is trying to ensure that mizuki knows that today is a safe day for her to come to school due to the circumstances of the festival, the way she words this is very discomforting bc she's basically saying "nobody is going to notice that you're dressed as a girl today bc everyone is wearing wacky outfits!" which carries the unfortunate implication that the way mizuki presents herself is equally wacky in a way that reinforces everything ppl say about her, but this isn't easy for her to push back against bc she doesn't have a good enough 'excuse' to do so when this is one of the few ppl who go out of their way to accommodate her even if they don't fully get it? it's thoughtful of an to want to reassure her but also it's another little thing that others fail to understand. she's trying to be kind but even then mizuki feels somewhat pushed into a corner. she's very bad at actively saying No. and an has removed her ability to misdirect here bc an is speaking with ambiguity.

mizuki also being too anxious about the idea of changing her clothes in school bc she's terrified of the possibility of being caught and thus having her body perceived by others... that's also another reason she'd hate being at school. gym and changing for it … i'd wager mizuki skips almost every gym class bc she can't stand the idea of being forced to change amidst boys, but she's also not allowed into the girls' locker room… literally only has the option to go to the roof if she wants to change. she's so hyper cognizant of her body and being seen … and the worst part is, she likes to be seen under her own circumstances and control (which is one of the many reasons she's very passionate abt fashion, and a lot of trans ppl in fiction tend to have an attachment to fashion and styling which makes a lot of sense bc of the element of control over one's appearance and making a self one can love). she really does. it just … happens that she knows she has so little control.

i've read the vbs main story (and a bit of their events but i need to continue whoops) and this makes me appreciate mizuki's brief interaction with kohane and an here more, bc it's obvious in this moment that kohane is just being her usual self—anxious around other ppl she's not familiar with and this is something she wants to improve upon (which as far as i can tell is the conceit of her character arc as an underdog of sorts compared to the others in her group). but mizuki assumes that she has to be uncomfortable with her specifically (presumably due to her transness) bc of her experiences, so she immediately feels bad about 'taking up space' and decides to make up an excuse to get away from the situation to give kohane the chance to comfortably hang out with her friend. and the fact that mizuki goes out of her way to say that she's going to find a place to hide alone is interesting bc the way it's framed it doesn't sound like it means much, but it feels deliberate on her part, like she wants an to know... mizuki's internal world and where we see she has internal bias and how she blames herself or assumes she herself is the problem if she can't make others comfortable, and she takes so much upon herself all the time bc she's used to constant microaggressions and either can't say how she truly feels or has to divest what she feels from its context to make it palatable. but of course kohane is not transphobic, she is someone who has trouble socializing with strangers bc of her own anxiety that has nothing to do with mizuki herself, but mizuki doesn't have access to this perspective like the reader so it's easy for her to assume that she's the problem. it's paranoia but it's understandable considering how she's treated by almost everyone...

[antiproshipconfessions]

I hate when proshippers say "Oh you're censoring us! 😡" when I express how uncomfortable I am when people fetishize rape, pedophilia, and incest.

1.) That's not called cEnSOrSHip, that's full on illegal material that you're somehow sexually aroused by. And besides, only government organizations like the FBI can actually censor things. Opinions cannot censor jack shit.

2.) Writing taboo topics isn't bad by itself, but you proshippers need to understand the difference between using it as a coping mechanism and using it as a "cutesy" kink. (Believe it or not, there's a difference between knowing and understanding something.)

3.) If they're gonna get offended when I call them potential pedophiles when they fap to fictional children, maybe they need to reconsider why they're attracted to characters that are supposed to represent MINORS in the first place!

4.) Being anti pro-contact doesn't stop them from being disgustingly weird.

5.) They promote the fact that they're "anti-harassment", but the second some random online stranger expresses how much they don't like proshipping while staying in their OWN lane, they go "SHARPEN YOUR PITCHFORKS AND LIGHT YOUR TORCHES!! THEY'RE HARASSING US EVEN THOUGH WE WILLINGLY STEP FOOT INTO THE ANTI PROSHIP TAG!!!" Like, y'all can't just filter out the anti tag and block any anti you see without interacting?

That answer is simple. They can't. They're too busy sitting on their high horse to stay out of the anti proship tag whilst calling antis hypocritical narcissists for disliking them.

Now I'm not saying every anti is innocent, but you gotta believe that most antis don't actually go out of their way to explore the proship tag to express how much they dislike them.

Sorry for the random ass rant. Had to get that off my chest.

.

[time-bombed]

it’s so funny to me that they’re acting like the VA of one of the characters that faces oppression from piltover isn’t allowed to make a joke about a character being an oppressor. i don’t mind people wanting to mindlessly consume, but this is just ridiculous.

also chalking it up to people “hating women” or “hating lesbians” is hilarious because people do not call out cait’s actions because she’s a lesbian or because she’s a woman? they call them out because she contributed to oppression? she literally suggested and followed through with gassing the streets of zaun and people act like everyone is just supposed to forgive her or be happy with her arc when she never even said “i’m sorry”.

insane how racist this fandom can be. i’d hate to see how these people handle these topics in real life.

ekko's va, reed shannon rightfully calling out caitlyn for literally gassing the undercity, exercising police brutality, and not even taking accountability or apologizing for any of the oppression and violence she did against zaunites

and in turn, the arcane fandom calls him and ekko "monkeys" and other racially motivated names and slurs

[chaifootsteps]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8LvNSvk/

I thought this TikTok was super cute, and probably a more honest interpretation of the character than literally any helluva Stan will give—Georgina Leahy seems really sweet and professional, and while I know we are probably gonna get some bullshit about how evil Stella is and how she hates Octavia, at least we’ll always have this little fan interaction of Stella calling Octavia her “darling daughter” and asserting (genuinely I think) that she loves her (and then cackling b/c that she and her daughter both hate Stolas for being a shit dad and husband)

Am PRAYING that Stella and Octavia’s relationship is shown at least SOMEWHAT positively or with nuance in the future but. I mean. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt but based on past writing trends I’m not holding my breath.

—Peanut Anon 🥜 (who also loves Stella and wants to adopt her from canon 😭)

That was absolutely precious and got a genuine smile out of me. The sincerity when she says "I do love you," as though she can't believe Octavia would ever doubt it for a moment.

I've no hope for it actually happening in canon, but maybe, just maybe...

[isaidyoulookshitty]

idk it is so upsetting to me that veilguard is the first dragon age game i won't be replaying. when i was 15 i played origins so many times (almost a dozen) it is one of the only games i have ever 100% finished. da2 was the same! and while i didn't make it through as many playthroughs of inquisition i put hundreds of hours into it and made an effort to get to the bottom of everything the game threw at me. until veilguard, i had bought every available dragon age dlc for all games, tried to play almost every route given in the story choices, and spent hours reading through codex entries to soak up as much lore as i could.

veilguard has rendered all of that completely null.

it feels almost spiteful at this point that this new frakenspliced bioware cared so little to honor the bones and meat of the first three games. 15 years i have spent loving and cherishing (and criticizing) this franchise and now i feel like a fucking idiot for it. my grey warden? canonically awol and never addressed again. hawke? irrelevant and, for some players, potentially stuck in the fade forever. inquisitor? stripped of any complexity or depth i had given her in favor of the most syrupy, out of character fairytale true love's kiss ending with a man that shattered her worldview and broke her heart. how do you take 10 years to craft an ending this dissatisfying and thoughtless?

and the world i spent a decade and a half fighting for, shaping with player choices, and calling home? gone. "overwhelmed by the blight." literally scorched earth for the next game to build on with whatever the writers pull out of their ass to make players forget all about the original dragon age. it's tragic! disrespectful to longtime fans at best, at worst it feels intentional and like i am being made the butt of a joke told by writers who in the promotional material sound like they could not even be assed to play the games they're attempting to draw from. veilguard is just a product to be sold, not a story worthy of The Dragon Age Setting.

and i haven't even touched on all my gripes with the game's writing, the sanitization of any canon conflict that could be uncomfortable or difficult to address, the stale and cutesy therapyspeak and lessons in basic morality that are baked into every in-game interaction (most of which are shallow and all the same anyways) compared to the dialogue trees from the other 3 games. it is so frustrating to see that the devs chose to cave to a decade of vitriolic fandom politics in favor of addressing the kettle they wrote themselves into.

instead of hand-waving racism toward elves, the panic over qunari, the isolation of the dwarves, the corruption of the chantry, the abuse in the circles of magi, and slavery in tevinter, we should have been given the chance to confront all of it. to put a real end to it. we will never get to do that now. in fact, in their failure to follow through, bioware has only succeeded in exacerbating all of these issues. they have made the elves, which they have openly ADMITTED were "inspired" by Jewish and indigenous peoples, their mouthpiece for white guilt and shame passed down from one's ancestors (while also gutting elves' religion, culture, history, social differences, etc. i could go on). they PERPETUATE the same stereotypes of barbarity, violence, and warmongering imposed on the qunari by the rest of thedas by continuing to make them an opposing enemy force with the exception being a couple of friends they have neatly packaged for us. the unsatisfying conclusion to the mage-templar schism in inquisition is inconsequential. who the player chose to HEAD THE SOUTHERN CHANTRY as divine is deliberately made irrelevant. the dwarves are still isolated and ignorant of their origins save for harding (assuming she doesn't end up killed) and a single closed-off group. and the slaves in tevinter (again, mostly elves)? conveniently kept out of sight and conversation when we finally get to minrathous. everything that happened to fenris to make him the character he is, arguably the most impactful and sympathetic out of all the da2 companions, is not even addressed, much less tackled. all of it is swept under the rug.

i could go on about how i, a queer and nonbinary adult fan, thought their handling of gender and LGBTQIA+ identities was heavy-handed, infantilizing, and felt so out of place within the setting it makes easy fodder for the "woke=broke" crowd that wouldn't have been receptive to queer rep anyway, but that would need to be another post in itself. not to mention the romance! unfortunate that i chose to romance lucanis not knowing his is now notorious for a lack of content, meaningful dialogue, pacing, and actual development. i won't even get to see the other romances in comparison because, as i have said, i will not be replaying.

i wanted dragon age: dreadwolf. i wanted a solid conclusion to a story almost 20 years in the making. a dragon age reboot might even have been a great idea somewhere down the line, but this was not the game to do it with. it was supposed to be a sequel and they couldn't even get that right. did i enjoy parts of it? of course! i finished it! but i won't be doing it again. the game clearly intends you to, considering a significant portion is locked away by decisions players are forced to make pretty early on, but i can't make myself do it. it makes me way too sad.